IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums charge people for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent times,the issue of admission
fees
Use synonyms
 for museums has been a controversial one.It is believed by many people that
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 should take charge of visitors,
while
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 others argue that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be free.
Although
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this
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 fee can be used for development ,I argue that
this
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 has far more disadvantages as the general public may experience deprivation and learners may be unable to use it as a learning tool. Why are most people deprived of visiting
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
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due to
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 their bills?One of the main reasons is that
due to
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 low economic conditions,paying
tarrifs
Correct your spelling
tariffs
 to museum authorities is often difficult.If costs were imposed on any age,
then
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 it would cause a lack of interest among guests, and these would cause a loss of the traditional value of
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 eventually.
For instance
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,youngsters are the most common visitants who have enthusiasm for exploring traditional items
,
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apply
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but may get restrictions to visiting them because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 high cost.
Hence
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,giving permission to all visitors without admission fee can bring significant benefits.
Furthermore
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,museums can be a good tool for learning.If it needs
fees
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 for each visit,
then
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 scholars may lose their positive attitude toward learning about traditional materials.
Moreover
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,in many university education systems,learners have to learn about their culture
such
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 as arts ,crafting and many more.Giving up
fees
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 for all
,
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apply
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can be accessed
these
Change preposition
by these
show examples
 learners to gain more knowledge.To exemplify it ,history department students have some thesis work based on past eras,and they need to visit and collect items from traditional galleries.To open for all,they can promote learning worth. In conclusion, even though many folks believe that admission money can be utilized for purchasing heritage items on display,in my opinion,freeing entrance
fees
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 has substantial advantages that include creating scope for all ages people and acting as an educational medium.

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Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Enhance the clarity of ideas by ensuring each sentence within your paragraphs directly contributes to the main point, avoiding minor repetitions or slight drifts from the central focus.
Relevant Specific Examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mention specific museums or educational programs to illustrate how free admission impacts education and access.
Complete Response
Refine the task response by emphasizing a balanced view if discussing a controversial topic or clearly stating your position throughout the essay.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly presenting the topic and wrapping up your viewpoint.
Logical Structure
You have successfully maintained a logical structure by organizing your paragraphs around distinct main ideas about the advantages and disadvantages of museum fees.
Supported Main Points
You've effectively pointed out that museum charges can limit access for those with low economic means, which is a strong argument supporting your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • educational programs
  • accessibility
  • low-income families
  • public engagement
  • admission fee
  • visitor experience
  • overcrowding
  • resources
  • inclusivity
  • economic downturns
  • financial independence
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