IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The presented schemes depict how Porth Harbour has changed since the year 2000.
Overall
, it can be observed, that
while
 some changes in the northern and northwestern parts of the harbour have been very subtle, the southern and southeastern areas underwent some major renovation, transforming into a resort and,
consequently
, becoming a more suitable tourist attraction.
To begin
 with, the abandoned castle on the southeast side of the area has been turned into a hotel, alongside a public beach right next to it, which was changed to a private one for the hotel.
In addition
, near the resort, the cafes and shops were built next to the lifeboat zone, which remained untouched.
Furthermore
, the harbouring zone on the north was extended with an extra dock added for the passenger ferries.
Finally
, in the western area, the places for fishing boats and private yachts were interchanged, with an addition of extra showers and toilets.
Submitted by smackerprince on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, adding a concluding sentence could enhance the completeness of the response. Try summarizing the overall change or making a statement about the most significant transformation.
task achievement
Ensure that subtle changes are emphasized appropriately without downplaying less significant but noteworthy details, as each change contributes to the overall picture. This adds depth to your comparisons.
task achievement
Your essay does a great job in providing clear and comprehensive details of the changes observed in Porth Harbour. The use of directions (northern, southern, etc.) provides clarity to your descriptions.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, making it easy to follow the changes described. The use of paragraphs to separate major areas of change is effective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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