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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
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Modern
technology
 has made a significant impact on the social lives of
people
, prompting the debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 it has brought
people
 closer or driven them apart.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my own opinion. On one hand,
people
 can connect to each other easily through advanced
technology
. These days, social media platforms and communication software have become super popular, enabling
people
 to stay connected with their friends and family.
For example
,
people
 post about their life moments on Instagram, and their loved ones can virtually be a part of those memories.
Therefore
, the integration of new
technology
 into society has helped in bringing
people
 together.
On the other hand
, the overuse of
technology
 has made
people
 socially disconnected. Some
people
 prefer to stick to their phones
instead
 of interacting with others.
For instance
, children get exhausted and socially isolated by playing video games over an extended period of time.
As a result
, the negative
use
 of
technology
 has made
people
 disconnected
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their surroundings. In my opinion, even though the
use
 of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 tech devices can have bad effects on social life, it still has superior benefits in terms of connecting
people
 through social media and communication apps. A balanced
use
 of
technology
 can mitigate the negative effects, and it can lead to the development of a healthy personal and social life. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 a nutshell, modern
technology
 has played a pivotal role in bringing
people
 closer.
Although
 its excessive
use
 can lead to isolation for some persons, it has a greater impact in terms of making
people
 feel connected to their friends and family around the globe.
Submitted by mhamza.yahya on

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coherence cohesion
Be cautious with repetitive phrases or words to maintain interest.
task achievement
Consider more balanced examples; for instance, how business and professional life also benefits from technology.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are well-discussed, with a clear thesis and personal opinion.
task achievement
The use of examples, like Instagram and video games, effectively supports the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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