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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that employees are more motivated by monetary rewards, while others think non-monetary incentives are more effective. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #employees #rewards #incentives
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Motivating
employees
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 is essential for workplace productivity, and opinions differ on whether monetary
rewards
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 or non-monetary
incentives
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 are more effective.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives and argue that a combination of
both
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 approaches is ideal. Monetary
rewards
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,
such
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 as salary increments and bonuses, are powerful motivators. They provide
employees
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 with tangible benefits that improve their quality of life.
For instance
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, a higher salary can help workers meet financial goals,
such
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 as buying a home or supporting their family.
Additionally
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, monetary
rewards
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 are easy to measure and directly linked to performance, making them an effective way to recognize hard work.
However
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, non-monetary
incentives
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,
such
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 as flexible work hours, professional development opportunities, and recognition programs,
also
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 play a significant role in motivation. These benefits address
employees
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' psychological needs,
such
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 as job satisfaction and a sense of belonging.
For example
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, an employee who receives public recognition for their efforts may feel more valued and motivated to continue performing well. In my opinion,
both
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 monetary and non-monetary
rewards
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 are essential for maintaining a motivated workforce.
While
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 financial
incentives
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 address immediate needs, non-monetary benefits foster long-term loyalty and satisfaction. A balanced approach ensures that
employees
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 feel
both
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 financially secure and personally fulfilled. In conclusion, motivating
employees
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 requires a multifaceted approach. Combining monetary
rewards
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 with non-monetary
incentives
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 can create a supportive and productive work environment.
Submitted by mhamza.yahya on

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task achievement
While the essay effectively covers both perspectives on motivation and provides a clear opinion, expanding on how non-monetary incentives contribute to long-term loyalty could strengthen the task response further.
task achievement
Including additional specific examples of non-monetary incentives, such as detailed programs or case studies from real companies, can enhance the relevance and specificity of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the essay's coherence. Make connections between points more explicit with linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly framing and summarizing the topic and the writer's viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is consistent, with each paragraph extending naturally from the previous one.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both views on employee motivation, delivering a balanced analysis and a nuanced opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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