Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community. However, others prefer to give money to the national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give your opinion.

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While
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some
people
Use synonyms
tend to donate to the local communities,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others prefer to give money to national or international charity organisations. I
Add a missing verb
am incline
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incline
Replace the word
inclined
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to give help to my neighbourhood.
However
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, in
this
Linking Words
essay
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essay,
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I will discuss both of
the
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
preferences. Those who tend to give
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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to the local communities argue that they prefer to help someone they
aknowledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
. It will be easier for them to find out the real needs of the
people
Use synonyms
they would like to support because they have known them for years.
Therefore
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, they will not fall into any form of
scams
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scam
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.
For example
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, when I was a little girl, my neighbour offered to drive me to school since her daughters go to the same school
with
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as
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me. It was a major help to my family since we did not have any
vehicle
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vehicles
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.
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While
Correct word choice
People
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people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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prefer to help through international or national organizations hope that their money will be managed in a more professional way. Prominent
charities
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charity
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institutions usually have a mature system to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
that donations will be
channeled
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channelled
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to the
need
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needy
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ones. One of them is Habitat for Humanity who organize
people
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building poor
people
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's
house
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houses
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. They
also
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collect money to buy building materials. I once worked with them and now I support them regularly. To
conculde
Correct your spelling
conclude
,
while
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people
Use synonyms
have their own reasons either to support
local
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locals
show examples
because of familiarity or help
people
Use synonyms
through institutions
due to
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professionality, I prefer to help my local community.
However
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, I think the most important
thig
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
is that we still have the eagerness to give our hands to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by clearly structuring your arguments into distinct paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could be dedicated to discussing the local community aid, and another specifically for the national or international charity. This will improve logical flow significantly.
task achievement
Be aware of some minor spelling inaccuracies, such as 'aknowledge' should be 'acknowledge', 'thig' should be 'thing', and 'conculde' should be 'conclude'. Although minor, correcting these will make your writing more polished.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from a stronger conclusion that summarizes both views and reinforces your opinion. This can ensure a well-rounded and complete response.
task achievement
Your essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as your personal experiences with your neighbor and Habitat for Humanity, which effectively illustrate your points and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included both an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion clearly. This demonstrates good organizational skills in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • philanthropy
  • grassroots
  • non-governmental organizations (NGOs)
  • altruism
  • donation
  • volunteer
  • sponsor
  • beneficiary
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • advocacy
  • impact
  • scalability
  • community development
  • fundraising
  • non-profit sector
  • humanitarian aid
  • social responsibility
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