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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.

The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
#show #info #internet #five #countries #erope
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In the
Change preposition
The
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 line graph illustrates the must population using
internet
Use synonyms
 in the Europe in 2000. which the bar chart
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
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 the five most popular nations (Spain ,
Francie
Correct your spelling
France
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,
Sweden
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, Germany, UK) which
wear
Correct your spelling
were
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 using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in 2000. units are measured
millions
Change preposition
by millions
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 of people.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 it is
Sweden
Use synonyms
 increased.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 people more.
it is clear that
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 most popular
whereas
Linking Words
 Spain less
using
Wrong verb form
used
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. In terms of using
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in the Europe population . it stood at ??? 2000 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Sweden
Use synonyms
 reaching 35% .
similarly
Linking Words
, in the case of using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 by population. it started at 35% in 2000.and the average sending on shopping on the
internet
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 per person (76) With regards to the popular countries using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 in Europe in 2000.
Sweden
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 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 wear the most using
internet
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 countries , accounting for more
than35
Correct your spelling
than 35
%. and less than 20% user
internet
Use synonyms
. in the case of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Germany and
Francie
Correct your spelling
France
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, they comprised around 10% and 15%. on
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, when it comes to Spain , it had the
lower
Correct word choice
lowest
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 number of
using
Replace the word
uses
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 which was around 5%.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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