IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe environmental problems require global attention whereas some believe they can be dealt with on a national level. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #attention #believe #level
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Nowadays a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have made an idea of
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 is needed to worldwide attention and some think that each region can deal
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
it's
Verb problem
it on its
show examples
 own .
This
Linking Words
 is a controversial state to say or discuss ,
firstly
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 do believe that
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 several
problems
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
for
show examples
 us
such
Linking Words
 as pollution and the
distrubtion
Correct your spelling
distribution
destruction
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and
causing
Change the form of the verb
cause
show examples
destructions
Fix the agreement mistake
destruction
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 caused multiple
problems
Use synonyms
 that
are required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global and world attention.
For example
Linking Words
, pollution needs us to be more aware of the harmful things that will be
led
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 by it ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think it's okay to have
problems
Use synonyms
 related to
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it's hard for them to see the influence it
does
Verb problem
has
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , there was a conference back in 1999 where it quoted on how to help the global by making
civillians
Correct your spelling
civilians
 more aware of the damage they do to the
environment
Use synonyms
 , without a stable
environment
Use synonyms
 a lot of issues will be there.Many
people
Use synonyms
 are biased
wheither
Correct your spelling
whether
 it needs
recognization
Correct your spelling
recognition
show examples
 or not ,
in addition
Linking Words
 to that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and news
have'nt
Correct your spelling
haven't
 really
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 any worries or
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
need to be , so how will
people
Use synonyms
 understand the need to support and help with the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 different nations feel like it's their responsibility to help
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 nation on any level ,
why
Rephrase
so why
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 would they
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 being a part of a global discussion
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, with
warms
Add a comma
warms,
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of countries have
took
Change the verb form
taken
show examples
 sides so it's hard to influence anyone into thinking of saving the
environment
Use synonyms
 nor to protect or
resolve
Wrong verb form
resolving
show examples
 any
problems
Use synonyms
 . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 feel that
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 need to take it as a serious level which is globally to reduce it's effect and influence because
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
day
Add a comma
day,
show examples
 we are part of
this
Linking Words
 world and any harm
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 can
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
 to serious
problems
Use synonyms
 despite each nation thinking it's best to not get involve.
Submitted by dr.hessahaljalahma on

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task achievement
In your introduction, briefly state both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Make sure to have a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This will help in organizing your ideas logically.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your essay and make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your writing shows an understanding that both national and global efforts are needed to address environmental issues.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global cooperation
  • uniform policies
  • cross-border environmental issues
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • tailored solutions
  • specific environmental challenges
  • international treaties
  • Paris Agreement
  • collective action
  • accountability
  • resources
  • developed countries
  • global balance
  • local governments
  • adaptable
  • emerging environmental issues
  • global consensus
  • pooling research
  • technology
  • innovations
  • sense of ownership
  • responsibility
  • local authorities
  • pioneers
  • role models
  • successful national policies
What to do next:
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