Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competition

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Some

peole

Correct your spelling

people

believe that those sports

incuring

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incurring

including

severe injuries to opponents should be banned from

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shows and international athletic rivalries. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

practice because it would affect youngsters badly, and disturb the aim of international

competitions

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. First and foremost, If children are exposed to

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

shows, it might have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on them. Since they cannot grasp the reality behind the shows, they would take them seriously, and try to practice violent actions which they have learnt. As

an evidence

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evidence

a piece of evidence

a shred of evidence

show examples

, after watching an Ultimate Fighting Championship match, my nephew tried a sub-mission on me, and he broke my leg.

Therefore

Linking Words

, limiting

such

Linking Words

sports can be a beneficial idea.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the ultimate target of holding international

sport

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sports

show examples

competitions

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is to expand peace among

nations

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. In recent years,

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

of some rivals during martial

art

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arts

show examples

competitions

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caused diplomatic problems and resentments between

nations

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. Eliminating

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apply

show examples

boxing and martial

art

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arts

show examples

races from international tournaments would reduce redundant tensions among

nations

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. Some may argue that omitting intensive sports like boxing from

sport

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sports

show examples

competitions

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and

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shows would be an overreaction.

However

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, I think that the growing number of children who are triggered by harsh martial arts

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shows is a solid reason to find a down-to-earth solution. In conclusion, from my perspective harsh martial art

competitions

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should be removed from

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shows and important international venues as they might affect children and

nations

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negatively.

Submitted by faraisam33 on Thu Dec 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity by avoiding repetitive phrases and maintaining focus on the main argument.

task achievement

Use more varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to strengthen arguments.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that appropriately frame the argument.

supported main points

Good use of personal anecdotes to support the main points, demonstrating relevance and specificity.

logical structure

Logical structure present with a clear progression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

235 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Violent sports
Boxing
Martial arts
International sports competition
Cultural tradition
Economic impact
Revenue
Freedom of viewership
Safety regulations
Desensitization
Negative role modeling
Physical benefits
Discipline
Self-defense
Fitness
Permissible violence
Media influence

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Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.