Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In
this
era, young Linking Words
people
who are raised in poor Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
face
some Use synonyms
problems
better when they become Use synonyms
adult
Use synonyms
people
than Use synonyms
children
educated by rich Use synonyms
parents
. I really concur Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
with
this
statement. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss more about Linking Words
this
interesting topic.
Nowadays, Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
coming from poor Use synonyms
families
have better preparation to Use synonyms
face
Use synonyms
problems
when they Use synonyms
have been
adults than young Wrong verb form
are
people
raised by Use synonyms
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
parents
. Use synonyms
This
is because When Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
have gotten used to a hard life, the mentalities of Use synonyms
them
will be very strong Correct pronoun usage
they
to
Rephrase
enough to
face
some Use synonyms
problems
when they Use synonyms
have been
adults. Wrong verb form
become
For instance
, when young Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
that
have Correct pronoun usage
who
been
grown up in impoverished Unnecessary verb
apply
families
want to study at school, they will endeavour to work hard to earn a lot of money and save the money to pay for Use synonyms
the
education. Change the word
their
Therefore
, Linking Words
the
underprivileged Correct article usage
apply
children
can survive to Use synonyms
face
a lot of Use synonyms
problems
when they have become Use synonyms
adult
Use synonyms
people
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
children
who come from high-income Use synonyms
parents
will be more spoiled and do not have strong mentalities because they are already used to facing hard situations. Use synonyms
Meanwhile
the Add a comma
Meanwhile,
children
coming from Use synonyms
the
prosperous Correct article usage
apply
families
will be dependent on their Use synonyms
parents
. They have Use synonyms
a
privilege Correct article usage
the
to overcome
some Change preposition
of overcoming
problems
when they Use synonyms
have been
grown-ups. Wrong verb form
become
For example
, when they have become turn mature Linking Words
people
and they do not have jobs, they will ask their Use synonyms
parents
to provide some Use synonyms
capitals
to run a business. So, I think they do notFix the agreement mistake
capital
Add a missing verb
have a
a
mental to survive on some Correct article usage
the
problems
when they have become Use synonyms
adult
Use synonyms
people
.
In conclusion, young Use synonyms
people
who are raised in poor Use synonyms
family
will be better Fix the agreement mistake
families
to
Correct word choice
able to
face
the pressure when they Use synonyms
have
become Unnecessary verb
apply
Use synonyms
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
people
. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
children
educated by affluent Use synonyms
parents
will not survive facing the workforce without proper skills.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Try to develop your main points further with more detailed examples or arguments. This will help to clarify your ideas and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Using linking words and signposts can help guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, setting a good foundation for the essay.
logical structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite