IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #foods #effect #families #societies
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Traditional foods nowadays are being replaced by fast
food
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 in many different countries,In
this
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 essay
i
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I
show examples
 will talk about the effect on the
people
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 and
weather
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whether
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i
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I
show examples
 agree or disagree. A
lot
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 of
people
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 now prefer eating fast
food
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 rather
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then
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than
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 traditional
food
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 for many different reasons.First,Some
people
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 think that it is more easier to order
food
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insted
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instead
 of cooking your own meal.
Moreover
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,some students who have university or school can not find time to cook so they
forced
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are forced
show examples
 to eat fast
food
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.
Also
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,most
of
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apply
show examples
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people
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the people
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 agree that it is fast
food
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are
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is
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 more delicious than traditional
food
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 and there are many options for all
diffrent
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different
taests
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types
 of
people
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.
In addition
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,
There
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there
show examples
 are
people
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 who do not know how to cook and they find it hard
for
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apply
show examples
them
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apply
show examples
to learn.There are some
people
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 who get used
on
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to
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 eating fast
food
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 so now they are
addected
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addicted
 to it. There are many bad effects that can be caused
from
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by
show examples
 eating fast
food
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.As it is known,eating fast
food
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 every day can
led
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lead
be led
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 to
dengrious
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serious
dangerous
 health problems.A
lot
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 of
docters
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doctors
advice
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advise
show examples
people
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 to stay away from eating fast
food
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 or at least not every day.
Moreover
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,It is west of money to eat fast
food
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 more
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then
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than
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 once,
For example
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,families who
has
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have
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
childeren
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children
 will spend a
lot
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 of money
for
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apply
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eating
food
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that is
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 not even healthy.
Also
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,It can
led
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lead
be led
show examples
 to weight problems and
people
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 will be overweight.Most
of
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apply
show examples
kids
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the kids
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 now are overweight and they are not
confedent
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confident
 about
thier
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their
selvs
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selves
selfs
. In my
openion
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opinion
,I think that
people
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 should have controle
on
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over
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 their
food
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 and try to balance between fast
food
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 and
triditional
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traditional
food
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,so they do not erase their
calture
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culture
 and they should try to create other
typs
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types
 of dishes to
keet
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keep
show examples
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 away from fast
food
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.
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task achievement
Aim to support your main points with more specific examples or data where possible. For instance, you could mention particular health studies or cultural impacts to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try varying your sentence structures. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to improve the readability and engagement of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have identified several valid reasons why people prefer fast food, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • globalization
  • nutrient-rich
  • bonding
  • local cuisine
  • fast food chains
  • convenience
  • processed ingredients
  • sustainability
  • culinary traditions
  • mass-produced
  • environmental degradation
What to do next:
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