Internet social media have become very popular. To what extent do you think this is a good or bad thing? Why do you think this is the case? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undeniable that
Correct article usage
the advance
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
of
technology Change preposition
in
has
influenced Correct subject-verb agreement
have
for
almost every Change preposition
apply
fields
of our daily basis, including contributing Change to a singular noun
field
the
way we socialize. the Change preposition
to the
appereance
of new social Correct your spelling
appearance
media
Use synonyms
bring
both advantages and disadvantages. I think in practically, the drawbacks Change the verb form
brings
outweight
of advantages. Correct your spelling
outweigh
This
essay will examine some reasons why social Linking Words
media
is Use synonyms
bad
thing.
Add an article
a bad
To begin
with, there Linking Words
are
some Change the verb form
is
reason
why social Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
media
like Use synonyms
tiktok
, Correct your spelling
TikTok
instagram
, X and Change the capitalization
Instagram
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
sosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
bring Use synonyms
the
negative impacts. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, social Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
become Use synonyms
individual
. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
According to
research by Thomas Van in 2020, mentioned that Linking Words
people
spend their Use synonyms
time
in social Use synonyms
media
is 7 Use synonyms
hours
per day. if calculated correctly, Use synonyms
people
will spend Use synonyms
time
6-8 Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
for
sleeping, 9 Change preposition
apply
hours
Use synonyms
for
working, Change preposition
apply
the
rest of Correct word choice
and the
Use synonyms
time
will spent Correct article usage
the time
socialize
around 0-2 Wrong verb form
socialising
hours
.
Use synonyms
Additionally
, social Linking Words
media
impacted Use synonyms
to
productivity. Change preposition
apply
Reseach
by Correct your spelling
Research
Dr.
Stevany in 2022, mentioned that social Change the punctuation
Dr
media
Use synonyms
designed
to scroll down and up to Add a missing verb
is designed
triger
some Correct your spelling
trigger
neuron
in our Fix the agreement mistake
neurons
pupil
leading to Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
stay
up and addicted. I think not everyone Wrong verb form
staying
has
Verb problem
is
concious
of Correct your spelling
aware
awarness
with Correct your spelling
awareness
this
algorithm, Linking Words
however
in fact Linking Words
that
everyone will enjoy Correct word choice
apply
to scroll
up and down the content on social Change the verb form
scrolling
media
. Use synonyms
For example
, I found so many Linking Words
people
playing with their Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
open
the Correct word choice
and open
cosial
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
instead
of other apps like Linking Words
gmail
, Change the capitalization
Gmail
trelo
, and other productive apps. What I Correct your spelling
tremolo
Trello
tree
means
by Change the verb form
mean
that is
Linking Words
instead
of doing something Linking Words
importants
Correct your spelling
important
people
choose Use synonyms
spent
their Change the verb form
to spend
time
Use synonyms
in
screen especially Change preposition
on
social
Change preposition
on social
media
, leading to Use synonyms
decrease
productivity.
In conclusion, social Wrong verb form
decreased
media
impacts the way Use synonyms
people
interact with others, but from some Use synonyms
reseach
and my experience, Correct your spelling
research
that
social Correct word choice
apply
media
like Instagram, Tiktok, and others Use synonyms
brings
some negative impacts, including Verb problem
have
make
Wrong verb form
making
people
become Use synonyms
indivial
, and Correct your spelling
individuals
decline
our productivity.Wrong verb form
declining
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on
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coherence cohesion
Try to outline your argument more clearly in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay. You have presented an opinion, but it could be elaborated further to clarify your stance and the direction of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you establish a more explicit connection between your arguments and your examples in order to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will make your response stronger and more cohesive.
general language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to avoid small inaccuracies, such as 'outweight' instead of 'outweigh,' and 'sosial' instead of 'social.' These small errors can slightly distract the reader, even though I don't lower grades for them.
coherence cohesion
Add some transitions and linking words between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow. Transitions will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your task response is generally sufficient, but try to address more explicitly to what extent you believe the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. This will help clarify your position.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples which support your argument, such as the research by Thomas Van and Dr. Stevany. This adds credibility to your response and shows insightful engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
You effectively conclude the essay by summarizing the main points and reiterating your stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of social media, demonstrating a balanced consideration of the topic before concluding the argument.