Internet social media have become very popular. To what extent do you think this is a good or bad thing? Why do you think this is the case? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is undeniable that

Correct article usage

the advance

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advance

Fix the agreement mistake

advances

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technology

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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influenced

for

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apply

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almost every

fields

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field

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of our daily basis, including contributing

the

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to the

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way we socialize. the

appereance

Correct your spelling

appearance

of new social

media

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bring

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brings

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both advantages and disadvantages. I think in practically, the drawbacks

outweight

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outweigh

of advantages.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine some reasons why social

media

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bad

Add an article

a bad

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thing.

To begin

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with, there

are

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some

reason

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reasons

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why social

media

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tiktok

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TikTok

instagram

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Instagram

show examples

, X and

other

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others

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sosial

Correct your spelling

social

media

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bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

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negative impacts.

Firstly

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, social

media

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make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

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people

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become

individual

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individuals

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According to

Linking Words

research by Thomas Van in 2020, mentioned that

people

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spend their

time

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in social

media

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is 7

hours

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per day. if calculated correctly,

people

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will spend

time

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6-8

hours

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for

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apply

show examples

sleeping, 9

hours

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for

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apply

show examples

working,

the

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and the

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rest of

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time

Correct article usage

the time

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will spent

socialize

Wrong verb form

socialising

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around 0-2

hours

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Additionally

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, social

media

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impacted

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apply

show examples

productivity.

Reseach

Correct your spelling

Research

Dr.

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show examples

Stevany in 2022, mentioned that social

media

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designed

Add a missing verb

is designed

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to scroll down and up to

triger

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trigger

some

neuron

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neurons

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in our

pupil

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pupils

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leading to

stay

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staying

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up and addicted. I think not everyone

has

Verb problem

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concious

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aware

awarness

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awareness

with

this

Linking Words

algorithm,

however

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in fact

that

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apply

show examples

everyone will enjoy

to scroll

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scrolling

show examples

up and down the content on social

media

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For example

Linking Words

, I found so many

people

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playing with their

phone

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phones

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open

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and open

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the

cosial

Correct your spelling

social

media

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instead

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of other apps like

gmail

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Gmail

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trelo

Correct your spelling

tremolo

Trello

tree

, and other productive apps. What I

means

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mean

show examples

that is

Linking Words

instead

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of doing something

importants

Correct your spelling

important

people

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choose

spent

Change the verb form

to spend

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their

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

screen especially

social

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on social

show examples

media

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, leading to

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

productivity. In conclusion, social

media

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impacts the way

people

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interact with others, but from some

reseach

Correct your spelling

research

and my experience,

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

social

media

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like Instagram, Tiktok, and others

brings

Verb problem

have

show examples

some negative impacts, including

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

people

Use synonyms

become

indivial

Correct your spelling

individuals

, and

decline

Wrong verb form

declining

show examples

our productivity.

masry.pakpahanFri Dec 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to outline your argument more clearly in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay. You have presented an opinion, but it could be elaborated further to clarify your stance and the direction of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that you establish a more explicit connection between your arguments and your examples in order to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will make your response stronger and more cohesive.

general language

Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to avoid small inaccuracies, such as 'outweight' instead of 'outweigh,' and 'sosial' instead of 'social.' These small errors can slightly distract the reader, even though I don't lower grades for them.

coherence cohesion

Add some transitions and linking words between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow. Transitions will help readers follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Your task response is generally sufficient, but try to address more explicitly to what extent you believe the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. This will help clarify your position.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant and specific examples which support your argument, such as the research by Thomas Van and Dr. Stevany. This adds credibility to your response and shows insightful engagement with the topic.

coherence cohesion

You effectively conclude the essay by summarizing the main points and reiterating your stance on the topic.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of social media, demonstrating a balanced consideration of the topic before concluding the argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Internet social media have become very popular. To what extent do you think this is a good or bad thing? Why do you think this is the case? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and personal life, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Some people think that teachers are no longer needed because students can study via the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people today are choosing to live and work in another country after graduating from university in their home country. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?