IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently made a journey by train. When you got on the train, you realised you had left a bag on the platform. Write a letter to the station manager. In your letter: • give details of where and when you left the bag • describe the bag and its contents • suggest how you could get the bag back

#journey #train #bag #platform #station #manager #contents
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Dear Sir or Madam, Hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am Simran Clarks, a passenger of the Scotland Express,
train
Use synonyms
 number 123456, which departed from Victoria station on 12th November 2024 at 8am. I am writing
this
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 letter to bring to your kind notice that after the
train
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 started for its destination, I realised that I had had only two bags
thus
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 leaving back one
bag
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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platform number 1. I recollect that I left my home with three
lugguage
Correct your spelling
luggage
 bags and that I had all of them with me
while
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 I was boarding the
train
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. But,
due to
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 the rush of people getting
down from
Change preposition
on
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 the
train
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, I missed
to put
Change the verb form
putting
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 the third
bag
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 inside. The
bag
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has been
Wrong verb form
was
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 left on platform number 1 on the 12th of November at 7.55 am,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
last
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 compartment of the
train
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 halts
, .
Change the punctuation
,
.
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 The
bag
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 which has been forgotten is light blue in colour with an American Tourister brand logo on its front side at the top. The
bag
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's handle has a pink ribbon tied to it with a personalised name logo at its end.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
bag
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 weighs approximately 15 kgs consisting
majorly
Rephrase
mainly
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 of clothes, footwear and some food items. I will be returning to London in 5 days on the 17th November and wish to collect the forgotten
lugguage
Correct your spelling
luggage
 myself.
This
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 will help me recognise my own
bag
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 and check if anything has been stolen from the
bag
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. Thank you for your
assisstance
Correct your spelling
assistance
. Yours faithfully, Simran Clarks.
Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on

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coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing the content more clearly, with distinct sections for each bullet point, for a more logical structure.
task response
Your letter provides a clear and detailed description of the bag, which aligns well with the requirement to describe the bag and its contents.
task response
The tone of the letter is polite and appropriate for addressing a station manager, which matches the suitable writing tone criterion.
coherence and cohesion
The letter opens with a polite greeting and concludes with a respectful closing, enhancing the overall presentation.
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