Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There is no denying the fact that many
people
in poor Use synonyms
countries
die from diseases that are curable Use synonyms
due to
they cannot afford the medication required. Linking Words
While
it is a commonly held belief that drug Linking Words
companies
should reduce their prices, there Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
argument
that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that Add an article
the argument
an argument
companies
should reduce their to save Use synonyms
people
from dying Use synonyms
help
communities. Correct word choice
and help
To begin
with, lower medical save many Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
In other words
, lower medical service costs should be in any country because poor Linking Words
people
need Use synonyms
this
treatment, Linking Words
advance
nations should support poor Replace the word
Advanced
countries
that will save millions of humans. Use synonyms
In addition
, creating small clinics in small towns can be useful , younger Linking Words
people
die because they don't find the treatment they deserve. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
rich
Change preposition
in rich
countries
like Saudi Arabia every year Saudi Use synonyms
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
Africa
Replace the word
African
contries
with financial support dut to create hospitals that can help to reduce the amount Correct your spelling
countries
people
we lose every year. Another point to consider, drug Use synonyms
companies
must reduce their prices. It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that Linking Words
companies
focus Use synonyms
in
their revenue and how much they sell. Change preposition
on
Moreover
, Linking Words
companies
should provide poor Use synonyms
countries
with prices they don't have any profit like community service for Use synonyms
world
. Add an article
the world
For instance
, pizer she provides poor nations with Linking Words
high quality
healthcare with Add a hyphen
high-quality
non profits
that should Add a hyphen
non-profits
companies
effort Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
community
. In conclusion, despite Add an article
the community
people
Use synonyms
have
different views, I believe that rich Wrong verb form
having
countries
provide poor nations Use synonyms
to
save Change preposition
with to
people
from Use synonyms
die
and drug Wrong verb form
dying
companies
Use synonyms
effort
various ways to pay to help Verb problem
use
people
Use synonyms
from
diseases to have Change preposition
with
community
with high healthcare.Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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task achievement
Your argument could benefit from more detailed explanation and integration of specific examples. Try to support your points with clearer evidence and more detailed examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure for better logical flow. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and contains clear topic sentences. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion could summarize the main points more effectively. A concise summary and a strong closing statement that reinforces your position could provide a satisfying closure to your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses relevant points like the social responsibility of rich countries and drug companies, aiming to improve healthcare in poorer regions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, contributing to the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay makes an effort to discuss different perspectives related to the topic, showing an attempt to consider multiple facets of the issue.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.