In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many nations nowadays, individuals have to leave their families and friends to find jobs.
Although
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this
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may lead them to miss their lovers and face difficulties in living,
this
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may help them to become independent and increase their
experiences
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in
life
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. Working far away from families and friends leads
people
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to face
life
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challenges.
This
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is because leaving
people
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who love causes them to be depressed and unmotivated which may have a huge effect on their performance in their jobs .
Also
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, it leads them to have difficulties in living because they may spend most of what they earn on house rentals which may discourage them from continuing their
work
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.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia, teachers who
work
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in schools in cities which are different from where they live reported that nearly half of their salary is spent on accommodation and transportation and the majority of them resigned.
However
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, I think
this
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may cause them to become stronger and have many
life
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experiences
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. working away from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
leads
people
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to depend on themselves and experience more in
life
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.
This
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is because it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to depend on themselves by doing home chores and cooking for themselves. It helps them to learn how to divide their budget for the month and how to balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
work
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and other responsibilities.
For instance
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, a company survey in the USA reported that most of the successful employees are those who worked in different places around the world because they have good time management and many
experiences
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that it is more beneficial to
work
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far from
people
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whom you love. In conclusion, even though working in jobs far from families and friends
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more difficult challenges in
life
Use synonyms
, I believe it leads
people
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to have more
experiences
Use synonyms
in
life
Use synonyms
Use synonyms activitygrowthheartsoulbeingbreathbriodashenergyenthusiasm It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. .
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Coherence and Cohesion
Add transitions between paragraphs for smoother reading.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen the points.
Task Achievement
Polish grammar and vocabulary to enhance task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively addressing the prompt.
Task Achievement
The main ideas are relevant and are generally supported by examples.
Task Achievement
The writer effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a balanced viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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