IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Cambridge IELTS 8, Test 3 Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

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They say that the immediate environment is where the heart is, so enhancing the cost of
petrol
 can be effective to escape from the hustle and bustle and excluding contamination. In my opinion, I agree that raising the value of
petrol
 ought to be efficient as it will greatly benefit both individuals and the environment. A good reason
to
Change preposition
apply
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for
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
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 in the price of
petrol
 is that it gives
people
, whether they may use their cars less.
In other words
, it leads to less traffic and fewer emissions which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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could be
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 effective for short trips or unnecessary driving, not only would be cost-efficient but
also
 it lead to
Correct article usage
a decrease
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decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 long
Correct article usage
the queue
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queue
Fix the agreement mistake
queues
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 of vehicles ahead. Another point to consider is that higher fuel costs could make public transport a more attractive option,
therefore
 incentivizing
people
 to have public transport leading to fewer private vehicles on the road.
Moreover
, it will reduce both traffic congestion and pollution.
Finally
, increasing
petrol
 prices will encourage
people
 to use environmentally friendly alternatives.
For example
,
people
 may invest in fuel-efficient or electric vehicles like Tesla’s car, which can help reduce pollution in the long term.
Although
 it will not be affordable, the government could hold up traffic. In conclusion, higher fuel costs are a must for preventing contamination and avoiding being stuck in a jam, undeniably if societies improve the infrastructure of free rides, pollution will decrease dramatically in the world.
Submitted by shmz_1363 on

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introduction present
Revise the introduction for clarity. The idiom does not clearly relate to the essay topic. A more direct statement could improve reader understanding.
logical structure
Strengthen logical connections between points in paragraphs. Introduce connecting words to make the flow smoother.
supported main points
Ensure that all main ideas are well-supported with examples or explanations.
relevant specific examples
Add more specific examples to illustrate your points and strengthen the argument.
complete response
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, supporting the idea that increasing petrol prices can help address traffic and pollution.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the stance taken in the introduction.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay includes multiple relevant ideas, such as reducing traffic and promoting public transport, in relation to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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