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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table illustrate the information about spending on health in five differenct countrues in 2002. Sumarize the informationa dn report main features where relavent.

The table illustrate the information about spending on health in five differenct countrues in 2002. Sumarize the informationa dn report main features where relavent.
The given table illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the expenditures on health in five different
countries
Use synonyms
 namely Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey in the year 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable from the table that all
countries
Use synonyms
 spent most of their
expenses
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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food
Use synonyms
,
drink
Use synonyms
 and
tobacco
Use synonyms
 and the least amount of their
expenses
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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leisure
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
. Turkey spent the highest
in
Change preposition
on
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food
Use synonyms
,
drink
Use synonyms
 and
tobacco
Use synonyms
, which was 32.14 % of their
expenses
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only 6.63%
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 clothing and footwear.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Ireland spent 28.91 % of their
expenses
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
,
tobacco
Use synonyms
 and
drink
Use synonyms
 and only 6.43%
in
Change preposition
on
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leisure
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
. Spain spent 18.80 % of their expenditures
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
tobacco
Use synonyms
 and
drink
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only 1.22%
in
Change preposition
on
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leisure
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
, which is the lowest
leisure
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 expenditure compared to other
countries
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. Italy spent 16.36% of their
expenses
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
,
drink
Use synonyms
 and
tobacco
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 9.00% of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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expenses
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 clothing and footwear, which is the highest expenditure in clothing and footwear among the other
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, expenses, food, drink, tobacco, leisure, education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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