IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe thay come information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world #thay
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Information
 is what we receive constantly, not intermittently.We can get
information
 from
everywhare
Correct your spelling
everywhere
.
For
example
 from the environment and from personal experience. Sometimes It is not worth sharing
information
 which has not been proven , as it can carry a nature that in the end will turn into contradictions, or even worse, into chaos.
For
example
, some
people
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
information
 about intimidating climatic changes or
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
,
soon
Correct word choice
and soon
show examples
 it may come to the point that most of the city or village will simply leave it. If we are talking about sharing
information
 about business and
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 world. I support
this
, it is imperative to inform
people
 in these areas.
For
example
, there are
people
 who want to start a business, but they do not have enough personal experience or enough knowledge
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 area. Many argue that scientific facts must be shared, but we must first discern the process, and make sure that the data will not have negative consequences.For instance, it has been scientifically proven that a certain product can have bad consequences with constant use.
This
 can lead to many
people
 being concerned that their health is being harmed by it, and the rest will struggle with consuming it. Of course, there are certain details, that we should keep hidden. Specifically,
Information
 about the personal life of certain
people
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be shared at certain moments by way of
example
 If
this
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the nature of evidence in court, etc.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear conclusion statement that efficiently wraps up the argument of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical flow between ideas using more linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Ensure examples directly support and enhance your main points.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly to create a comprehensive response.
introduction
The essay begins with an interesting introduction, reflecting on how constant information surrounds us.
task achievement
An example is provided to explain each of your main points, supporting your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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