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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The graph reveals information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
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 who participate in different
activities
Use synonyms
 depending on the social
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, located in Melbourne Australia, in the period between 2000 and 2020
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph includes several
activities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the film club. The line of
this
Linking Words
 activity has been stable from 2000 to 2020, but all other
activities
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 have seen a fluting line from 2000 to 2020. The
number
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 of
people
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 who participated in the film club was highest in 2000, and there was no significant change in 2020, which is still the highest point of the graph.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
people
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 who joined marital art
swing
Wrong verb form
swung
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 from 2000 to 2020. In 2010 there was a significant shift in the
number
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 of
people
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 who participated in both table tennis and amateur dramatics
activities
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, the line of table tennis jumped and started to increase in 2010,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, amateur dramatics in 2010 started to drop and begin to vanish in 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, activities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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