Task 2: Some people use technology to take advice for their medical problems rather than seeing a doctor. Why this is so? It is positive or negative development according to you? Write at least 250 words

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In today's reality, we are living in a society where advanced
technology
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usage is common. Individuals are dependent on
technology
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and often use it to take advice for their medical
problems
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rather than seeing a doctor.
This
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is happening because people believe that it is a positive tendency. I believe that
this
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kind of technological usage is a negative development. In my opinion, using
technology
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for medical advice is unpleasant and dangerous because, on the internet, we can find a lot of fake or uncertified information, which can worsen our medical condition.
For example
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, if someone has a rash on their skin, they can find hundreds of diseases on the internet that have common symptoms.
Moreover
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, that person can rely on information, and if they do, there is a big chance that they will worsen their skin condition, and in the end, they will end up in a hospital with serious health
problems
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.
Furthermore
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, if
persons
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people
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find out the right symptoms of their health
problems
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online and they try to treat them
according to
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information provided on the web, there is a big risk that they will use medicaments that have bad side effects.
This
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is evidenced in the past years when people were curing their flu with antibiotics that had side effects,
such
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as gut
problems
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.
In addition
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, the human body developed resistance toward those antibiotics, and doctors could not use
it
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them
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when it was really necessary for treatment. Taking everything into consideration, using modern
technology
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for medical advice, in my opinion, is a negative development, which is caused by financial
problems
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and human ignorance.
This
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problem can be solved by awareness raising and by the government's health system reforms.
Submitted by ibragimmamedov2 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your points about the dangers of using technology for medical advice, as this will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance the fluidity of the essay.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, try to elaborate more on solutions such as government reforms to provide a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and articulated, making it easy for the reader to understand your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging common beliefs and presenting a counter-argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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