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Band 5.5

The charts below provide information about the locations and types of dance classes that young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

The charts below provide information about the locations and types of dance classes that young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
#information #locations #dance #classes #people #town #australia #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of
classes
Use synonyms
 in held four different
location
Change to a plural noun
locations
show examples
 ( Private
studios
Use synonyms
, Community
halls
Use synonyms
 &
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, school
halls
Use synonyms
, and
collega
Correct your spelling
college
based
Verb problem
apply
show examples
studios
Use synonyms
),
while
Linking Words
 the chart shows the number of
studens
Correct your spelling
students
 in three types of dance
classes
Use synonyms
 which are Ballet, Tab and Modern in a town in Australia are currently attending.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can see the most popular location is in private
studios
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
collage based
Add a hyphen
collage-based
show examples
studios
Use synonyms
 are the lowest attending. the ballet
class
Use synonyms
 have many number of
students
Use synonyms
 under 11,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
students
Use synonyms
among age
Change preposition
aged
show examples
 11-16 join in Modern
class
Use synonyms
. In terms of the location of dance
classes
Use synonyms
, the Private
calss
Correct your spelling
class
 is held at 48% ,which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comes after that the School
Use synonyms
halls
Fix the agreement mistake
hall
show examples
 is held
24
Change preposition
at 24
show examples
%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the community
halls
Use synonyms
 & other and collage based
studios
Use synonyms
which they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
held 18% and 10% respectively.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, when it comes
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 types of dance
classes
Use synonyms
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 under 11 in ballet
class
Use synonyms
 is 600
students
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 between 11-16
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 300
students
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the Tap
class
Use synonyms
 has
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 450
students
Use synonyms
 under 11
while
Linking Words
 the modern
calss
Correct your spelling
class
 has 300
students
Use synonyms
 under 11.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, The
figuer
Correct your spelling
figure
 of
students
Use synonyms
 among 11-16 in Tap and Modern
calsses
Correct your spelling
classes
 reach approximately 400
students
Use synonyms
 and 500
students
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "likewise, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words classes, studios, halls, class, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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