In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing vhigh school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

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Many countries have suggested
on
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apply
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applying a law for the
time
students have between finishing
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
and starting university to either work or travel for educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. I believe that
this
new encouragement will only harm them because
for example
, someone who has been living all his life in a region suddenly gets the
oppourtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to leave it , do you actually think he will come back? I hardly believe that
in addition
, the
time
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's
between finishing
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
and starting university is best used in improving the
highschoolers
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highschooler's
highschoolers'
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educational purpose , finding the best majors that
matches
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match
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their goals and the
cv
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CV
show examples
. Yes, work can give them an idea
on
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of
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life after
highschool
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high school
show examples
however
its
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it's
it is
show examples
not fair for those who actually want to learn and have a future plan on how to use that extra
time
wisely. Few civilians have suggested that the jobs can be similar and related to the speciality they are
inetrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in .
For example
, those who hope to be lawyers can attend
court rooms
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courtrooms
show examples
and observe how the judge and lawyers interact and work on cases .
Secondly
, the
time
should be a shortcut to their dream university
for
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, for
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instance, to use that on interviews and learning new things to help them understand
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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new job they are aiming
on
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for
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.
Finally
, I think the government should do a study on graduates on how they used that gap, if there's a huge difference
into
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in
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changing their lifestyle , I
extermely
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extremely
recommend that law. In conclusion , I feel that those countries need to rethink
about
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apply
show examples
that as I hardly disagree with those laws and
encourgements
Correct your spelling
encouragements
encouragement
.
Submitted by dr.hessahaljalahma on

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. Currently, the essay focuses predominantly on the disadvantages, which could limit the task response.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure for clarity and avoid run-on sentences. This will aid coherence and cohesion by making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic with a concise introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the potential impact of taking a gap year and provides specific examples to illustrate these points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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