IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given table shows the numbers of international visitors arrivals came to nine different countries and the percentage changes between 2009 and 2010.

The given table shows the numbers of international visitors arrivals came to nine different countries and the percentage changes between 2009 and 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table compares how many international tourists visited to nine various countries and how the proportion was changed in the years in 2009 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, France had become the most visited in all given countries by the arrivals over
a-year
Correct article usage
a a-year
show examples
 period, despite
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
no changes,
while
Linking Words
 the least visitors were recorded in Hong Kong. It is
also
Linking Words
 apparent that Germany had the highest rise
percentagewise
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage-wise
 within the span. In detail, the number of international visitors in France topped the list with 76 000 000 throughout the period, though it had no changes, so in terms of
percentage
Use synonyms
. Figures for the USA, Spain, the UK, Italy, Turkey, China and Germany ranged from 66
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 11
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2009. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 changes for the first three of the following countries saw a rise between 1.5% and almost 2.5% in 2010. The number of international arrivals in Germany doubled to 23 000 000, accounting for 109% in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 change, virtually twice as much as the figure for China with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rise of 55% regarding
percentage
Use synonyms
. The statistics for Hong Kong, still, were different. The number of tourists levelled at
10 000 000
Correct your spelling
10,000,000
 in the initial year and underwent a negligible decrease of 11%, comprising 9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: