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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employees do to make their life easier?

#people #work #time #employees #life
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In capitalism, people adhere to a job
that is
Linking Words
 more paid,
consequently
Linking Words
 it is more appropriate for them as they could make more money, compared to a less paid job. Prioritizing spending time on things that are more important might be useful and yield people calmness, by
riding
Verb problem
relieving
show examples
 them of stress.
Firstly
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, living becomes expensive year by year, and
employees
Use synonyms
 are seeking a way to get as much as possible, even though the amount of money that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 earn is limited. People who strive to gain more benefits from their
work
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are inclined to get sick more often compared to others.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the culture of 'constant connectivity' could
also
Linking Words
 explain why
employees
Use synonyms
 feel more stressed. Technological advancements have blurred the boundaries between
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life, leading to a situation where
employees
Use synonyms
 are expected to be available at all times.
This
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 constant availability increases pressure and reduces the time workers have to relax and unwind. Employers can remedy
this
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 by promoting a healthier
work
Use synonyms
 environment that encourages regular breaks, physical activities, and mental health resources. By doing so, they can help
employees
Use synonyms
 disconnect from
work
Use synonyms
 during their free time, which would alleviate stress.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though rising living costs and constant connectivity contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased stress and longer working hours, employers can take steps to ease the situation. In my opinion, introducing flexible working schedules and supporting a healthier
work
Use synonyms
 environment are steps in the right direction, as they can significantly improve
employees
Use synonyms
' quality of life.
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This can help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain consistent linkage between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear task response, addressing both the reasons for increased stress and suggestions for making employees' lives easier.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a structured introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competitive job market
  • High expectations
  • Advancement of technology
  • Blurring the lines between work and personal life
  • Cost of living
  • Additional income sources
  • Organizational structures
  • Lean workforce
  • Time management
  • Flexible working hours
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Supportive work culture
  • Disconnect from work
  • Regular breaks
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