THE GROWING OF ONLINE SHOPPING WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO ALL SHOPS IN CITIES AND TOWNS CLOSING DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? You should write 250 words.

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Some
people
believe that because of the growth of online shopping, all shops will be closed in cities and towns. I completely agree with
this
point because
people
mostly prefer online shopping nowadays because it saves their valuable
time
and
energy
and they can buy stuff whenever they wish. Online shopping is
getting
Verb problem
gaining
show examples
popularity because it saves the valuable
time
and
energy
of the shoppers. These days,
people
are very busy,
therefore
, they do not have
time
to go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping physically.
Instead
, they mostly prefer staying at home and
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
show examples
online, which saves their valuable
time
and
energy
.
For example
, around 46% of
people
in Australia prefer shopping online because they believe that it saves their valuable
time
and
energy
because they have a lot of other responsibilities and they cannot go to shopping malls physically.
Moreover
, if
people
can do shopping
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, they can order whenever and wherever they want. There is no designated hour for online shopping and they are open 24 hours and 7 days a week.
Therefore
,
people
can
do
Correct your spelling
go
show examples
shopping even at midnight when they get
time
. When
people
can manage
time
order what they want. Even
people
can shop
while
doing their other daily tasks
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
just with a single click on their phones.
For example
,
people
even can
do
Correct your spelling
go
show examples
shopping when they are having meals or
commute
Wrong verb form
commuting
show examples
to their workplaces. In conclusion, I completely agree with the viewpoint that all physical stores will be closed in cities and towns and
people
will be more inclined to online shopping because it saves their
time
and
energy
and allows them to shop whenever and wherever they want.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
To enhance your essay, try to incorporate counterarguments to show a balanced view. This will demonstrate critical thinking and deepen your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. This will enhance readability and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
You can improve the logical structure by providing a more detailed explanation and breakdown of your points, as well as linking them more directly to the main thesis.
task response
Your essay presents a clear stance and consistently supports the main argument throughout.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, providing a strong start and a cohesive end.
task response
You provided specific examples that help illustrate your points, making your argument more tangible and credible.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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