Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention than the threat of punishment. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

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‏Living
conditions
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have become an indispensable part of people's lives. A frequently discussed issue whether is it is crucial to develop
conditions
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of living, or whether there should be implemented some punishments. I firmly agree that living
Conditions
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have significant benefits for both individuals and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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.
This
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essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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phenomenon, supported by relevant examples. ‏Critics contend that if people do not threaten punishment, they potentially commit the same crimes. They may feel more freedom which leads to
rise
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rising
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problems in
society
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For example
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, some
countries
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cut off the thief's hand to minimize theft in the communities.
Thus
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,
this
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can
accelerates
Wrong verb form
accelerate
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the comfort and
safetyin
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safety in
safety
society
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. ‏
On the other hand
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, the outcomes of good standards of living have undeniable benefits, particularly in terms of economic development.
For example
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, a study
conductal
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conducted
by Glasgow
Univesity
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University
show examples
illustrates that 90% of
countries
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which offer the best
conditions
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are become
a thriving economies
Correct the article-noun agreement
a thriving economy
thriving economies
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.
Therefore
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, these are vital components for individuals.
Furthermore
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, the benefits of
conditions
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of living are not limited only to people but
also
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have a profound impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Society
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. It can build many relationships
omong
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among
other developed
countries
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. A good example here is the United
states
Capitalize word
States
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which is a very popular country is able to create good connections with other
countries
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. ‏So, it stimulates global collaborations ‏In conclusion, living
conditions
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play a pivotal role in shaping
society
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.
While
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some pose certain challenges,
theng
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then
an integral component of economic growth and network connections which
cononbute
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contribute
to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. I strongly agree that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
essential. Governments and organizations must prioritize fair compensation policies to ensure economic growth.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and readability by restructuring complex sentences for better clarity.
supported main points
Ensure all points are fully developed with examples and evidence to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical and spelling errors that may distract readers from understanding the main ideas properly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the context and presents a clear thesis statement.
complete response
The essay recognizes multiple perspectives on the issue, covering both benefits of improved living conditions and the role of punishment.
relevant specific examples
Relevant socio-economic examples were included to support arguments, such as the example from the United States.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • living conditions
  • crime prevention
  • threat of punishment
  • root causes
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • community development
  • social welfare programs
  • mental health support
  • alternative pathways
  • criminal behavior
  • social issues
  • productive society
  • Quality of life
  • Empowerment
  • Employability
  • Societal impact
  • Preventive measures
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