Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Since introducing new apps and services for connection, individuals have started to chat online. Recently, more and more people tend to choose modern interaction
instead
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of traditional one. In my opinion,
this
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movement has as many advantages as disadvantages. One clear benefit of online communication is saving time.
In other words
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, people can chat ubiquitously, wherever and do not waste time commuting.
For instance
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, social media as Telegram offer a list of opportunities to catch a contact through video calls, recording voice messages and sending email ones.
As a result
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, people should not run away from one meeting to
second,
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as they can simply call their colleagues, friends and relatives. Without using these apps, communication between individuals might be limited as a cause of distance.
Therefore
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, the modern way of catching contact is beneficial for humans.
However
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, another idea against
this
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is trust, which is gained through traditional communication.
That is
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to say, during the talk, society uses eye contact and hand gestures, which increase assurance and reliability between individuals. Most of the business meetings,
for example
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, are held offline to boost trust.
Consequently
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, it can affect business, which concludes profitable contracts through face-to-face meetings. Without engaging in traditional interactions, there would be a doubt in partnership.
Thus
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, offline talks play a crucial role in being trusted. To summarise what has been stated so far,
while
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online interactions offer more time, face-to-face talks foster trust.
Therefore
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, striking an intricate balance between the two is important to take advantage of each simultaneously.

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task
State your main view in the intro and restate it in the end.
task
In each paragraph give one main idea and one clear example to prove it.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences and fix common grammar errors.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joins like and, but, so to help flow.
content
The writer shows both sides of the issue.
structure
The essay ends with a call for balance.
language
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
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