IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The
contetious
Correct your spelling
contentious
 topics related
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 ideal environment at
work
Use synonyms
, school or in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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daily life
deviding
Correct your spelling
dividing
 into two sides. Some individuals believe that
competition
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 should be a good
things
Correct the article-noun agreement
thing
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,
whereas
Linking Words
others
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 think cooperation would be more better. The existence of
competition
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 with colleagues
could'nt
Correct your spelling
couldn't
 be avoided in certain places. Some people think
with
Change preposition
apply
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the increase
of
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in
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ambitiouns
Correct your spelling
ambitions
ambitious
 through
competition
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 it will affect the output of the
work
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 in a positive way.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of
competition
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 between
the
Correct article usage
apply
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peers
exist
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exists
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, it will boost their
ambitiouns
Correct your spelling
ambitions
 to earn the highest position
as
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apply
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possible. It will
also
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 motivate them to always keep their spirit and
ambitouns
Correct your spelling
ambitions
ambition
 to become better than anyone.
However
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,
this
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phenomenen
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phenomenon
also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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the
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apply
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possible
affects
Replace the word
effects
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for
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people in a negative way.
That is
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 why
others
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 believe that
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
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 is better than competing against each other.
This
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 may cause a decrease in the sense of belonging and
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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work
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 between the peers. As a part of a society or a
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colleague
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colleagues
Add a comma
colleagues,
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 it is important to maintain a good relationship with
others
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. In my point of view, it is better to cooperate with each other rather
Correct word choice
than to
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to
Remove the marker
apply
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make it
as
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apply
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a
competition
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.
As a result
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 of
this
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, the
work
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 could be done in
a perfect outputs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a perfect output
perfect outputs
show examples
 and at the same time we can gain our knowledge through one another.
This
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 can be beneficial for both of the people.
To conclude
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, both views
has
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have
show examples
 their own reasons regarding
this
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topics
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topic
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, but in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 we should keep the relations between
others
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 first before anything else.

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clarity
Work on refining sentence structure and choose precise vocabulary to avoid confusion and ensure clarity. For example, 'Some individuals believe that competition should be a good thing' can be streamlined to enhance clarity.
specificity
Include more specific examples or anecdotes to strengthen your points. For example, mention a specific group or study when discussing the benefits or drawbacks of competition or cooperation.
coherence
To enhance logical flow, consider transitioning between paragraphs more smoothly. For example, “While competition can boost motivation, it also carries risks such as…".
structure
Your essay provides a clear introduction of both views (competition and cooperation) and concludes with your own opinion.
engagement
You recognize and explain multiple perspectives on the topic, which demonstrates an ability to engage with complex issues.
conclusion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your viewpoint and ties back to the introduction, promoting a sense of closure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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