Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.
Different
people
have different aspects of seeing about the phases of Use synonyms
life
. Many Use synonyms
people
might think that if teenagers Use synonyms
works
part-Change the verb form
work
time
and Use synonyms
earns
Change the verb form
earn
money
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
apply
this
might be a way to Linking Words
disciple
themselves and a way to learn about Verb problem
discipline
life
. Use synonyms
In
the other hand, Change preposition
On
people
might disagree and will say that Use synonyms
teenaagers
not be involved with after-school activities and enjoy Correct your spelling
teenagers
when
they can. In my view, learning is a phase of Correct pronoun usage
them when
life
and everyone will get Use synonyms
chance
to face it.
Correct article usage
a chance
However
, many countries Linking Words
offers
Change the verb form
offer
jobs
opportunities to teenagers with short shifts and low pay which they can Change the noun form
job
be take
part Change the verb form
take
after
Change preposition
in after
their
school finishes or Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
their summer holidays. They believe that if young Change preposition
during
people
Use synonyms
works
Change the verb form
work
then
they will acknowledge and value the work and Linking Words
money
. 'Use synonyms
One
who values the work and Use synonyms
money
will grow up being Use synonyms
discipline
' as told by Wrong verb form
disciplined
one
of the great Use synonyms
write
Lincoln Abraham. Replace the word
writers
For example
, there was Linking Words
a
research done between two students who Correct article usage
apply
was
actively involved in part-Change the verb form
were
time
jobs and Use synonyms
one
who Use synonyms
has
never worked. The research shows that there was more maturity Wrong verb form
had
with
the teenage Change preposition
in
boy
who Fix the agreement mistake
boys
does
part-Wrong verb form
did
time
jobs compared to the Use synonyms
Use synonyms
one
who Correct pronoun usage
ones
does
not.
Wrong verb form
did
Additionally
, as I have mentioned above too that every single human Linking Words
beings
has different perspectives Change to a singular noun
being
of
living Change preposition
on
life
. Many Use synonyms
believes
that living the age is all that Change the verb form
believe
matter
and Change the verb form
matters
Use synonyms
life
will teach everything itself Correct word choice
that life
on
Change preposition
in
it's
own Replace the word
its
time
. Agar Khalif said once that we cannot bring the Use synonyms
time
back so Use synonyms
ust
live the moment. There are Correct your spelling
we
people
who strongly Use synonyms
supports
that young Change the verb form
support
people
should live their Use synonyms
life
freely and enjoy as much as they can, as with Use synonyms
time
responsibilities will come and Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
gets
Change the verb form
get
struck
with completing the tasks of Correct your spelling
stuck
life
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
I
being Correct pronoun usage
apply
an
eldest daughter Change the article
the
of
my house, I didn't get Change preposition
in
chance
to have Correct article usage
a chance
restful
teenage Correct article usage
a restful
life
and my parents thought that to learn about Use synonyms
life
I should be working from a young age, but when I now see myself, I wish I could have made many beautiful and fun memories compared to my other friends.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
people
Use synonyms
has
many Change the verb form
have
opinion
in relation to teenage Change to a plural noun
opinions
people
working part-Use synonyms
time
and Use synonyms
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
money
or should rest at home. I believe that Use synonyms
teenage
should be given Correct your spelling
teenagers
time
to explore the world without any pressure of work and Use synonyms
money
as Use synonyms
this
is something they will face later in their Linking Words
life
span.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Ensure all main points are sufficiently supported with clear examples and explanations, especially when discussing real-world consequences or benefits.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent structure by logically ordering your arguments to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by addressing both perspectives on whether teenagers should work part-time.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, outlining the central topic and summarizing the opinion effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite