Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to a workplace every day. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
It is quite common these days for the majority of
employees
to work from home
instead
of travelling to a workplace every day. This
essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this
trend.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why employees
working from home
is beneficial. A common reason is that it saves time because it is not necessary to travel to the workplace. Another cause is that it saves money. In the past, when technology did not develop, professionals would spend time travelling to their companies. Nowadays, the employees
do not need to pay for transport every day. The last
reason is that employees
can ensure their health because they are not affected by the weather. In fact, on rainy or stormy days, people do not have to wait for that to stop before travelling home
.
On the other hand
, there are a number of disadvantages of remote working that people should take into consideration. One obvious drawback is that employees
can not communicate with their partners or bosses . The energy would be lacking for business, it might make it more boring. Hence
, the plans or aims are not assured with the best result. Another negative effect is that would be hard to promote employees
’ business. When bosses observe their workers, they can support them immediately. Working online would be faced with many challenges because people will work with no assistance.
In conclusion, employees
working from home
could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequences should not be overlooked.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure a clear, logical progression in your ideas. It's important to present your points in a sequence that is easy to follow and builds upon previous information. Linking words should be used to connect sentences and paragraphs appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, they are rudimentary and could be more elaborated. Consider adding a thesis statement to your introduction and a summary of key points to your conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported, they could benefit from more varied and detailed supporting examples. Aim to illustrate each advantage or disadvantage with specific evidence or examples that clarify and reinforce your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a response that addresses the task prompt, covering both advantages and disadvantages of working from home. However, to achieve a higher score, aim to provide a more detailed analysis of the prompt, fully exploring the implications of the issue.
task achievement
You've managed to express coherent ideas, yet the essay could be further improved by enhancing the comprehensiveness of each point. Try to delve deeper to provide clearer explanations and connections between the ideas, which will enrich the content of your essay.
task achievement
Your attempt to include relevant examples is good, but the examples provided are somewhat generic. Incorporate more specific and detailed examples that are directly relevant to the points being discussed, as this will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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