Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned others however believe that people should be free to choose sport activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there is a disagreement between people about whether dangerous

sports

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should be banned or not. There are lots of logical reasons for either banning or being free. I believe that it is important to consider these reasons equally because even if it is dangerous to do extreme

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

, it is a choice.

Also

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, if risks are not taken, we can not improve ourselves and move forward as a society. First of all, there are many ways that you can hurt yourself

while

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doing extreme

sport

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and it may cause fatal outcomes.

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, doing dangerous

sports

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such

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as bungee jumping has some serious consequences like being paralysed. It is the person's own choice to take that risk or not. As a society, we can not do anything about it because it is not illegal. People who do these kinds of

sports

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only harm themselves, not other people.

Secondly

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sport

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has an important role among nations. The Olympics is one of the biggest examples of

this

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. If we only focus on the negative side of the subject, we can not develop our community and we will be left behind.

This

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year, Mr Eliah honoured our country by taking second place in the shooting

sport

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. It seems dangerous to shoot with a gun but as you can see the result makes all of us happy. In conclusion,

although

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there are many reasons for banning extreme

sports

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such

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as deadly consequences and being paralysed, it is important to consider human rights and

also

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success in competitions like the Olympics.

isilMon Dec 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay covers both views of the topic but could benefit from a more balanced consideration of the counter-arguments. Consider elaborating on the perspective that supports banning dangerous sports with equal depth for a more comprehensive discussion.

task achievement

While the ideas presented in the essay are clear, at times they could be more thoroughly explored. Using more varied vocabulary or providing more examples can enhance clarity. Furthermore, ensuring that all points are directly linked back to the main topic will strengthen the argumentation.

coherence cohesion

The paragraph structure is mostly logical; however, coherence could be improved by using more connectors and transitions to ensure smooth progression between ideas. This can help in maintaining the reader’s focus and understanding throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure and framework for the arguments presented.

task achievement

Successful integration of an example (Mr. Eliah and the shooting sport) demonstrates the ability to support arguments with relevant details.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the word. what are the causes of it? and what solution do you offer?

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.