Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned others however believe that people should be free to choose sport activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is a disagreement between people about whether dangerous
sports
should be banned or not. There are lots of logical reasons for either banning or being free. I believe that it is important to consider these reasons equally because even if it is dangerous to do extreme Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sport
, it is a choice. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
Also
, if risks are not taken, we can not improve ourselves and move forward as a society.
First of all, there are many ways that you can hurt yourself Linking Words
while
doing extreme Linking Words
sport
and it may cause fatal outcomes. Use synonyms
However
, doing dangerous Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
such
as bungee jumping has some serious consequences like being paralysed. It is the person's own choice to take that risk or not. As a society, we can not do anything about it because it is not illegal. People who do these kinds of Linking Words
sports
only harm themselves, not other people.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
sport
has an important role among nations. The Olympics is one of the biggest examples of Use synonyms
this
. If we only focus on the negative side of the subject, we can not develop our community and we will be left behind. Linking Words
This
year, Mr Eliah honoured our country by taking second place in the shooting Linking Words
sport
. It seems dangerous to shoot with a gun but as you can see the result makes all of us happy.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
there are many reasons for banning extreme Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
such
as deadly consequences and being paralysed, it is important to consider human rights and Linking Words
also
success in competitions like the Olympics.Linking Words
Submitted by isil on
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task achievement
The essay covers both views of the topic but could benefit from a more balanced consideration of the counter-arguments. Consider elaborating on the perspective that supports banning dangerous sports with equal depth for a more comprehensive discussion.
task achievement
While the ideas presented in the essay are clear, at times they could be more thoroughly explored. Using more varied vocabulary or providing more examples can enhance clarity. Furthermore, ensuring that all points are directly linked back to the main topic will strengthen the argumentation.
coherence cohesion
The paragraph structure is mostly logical; however, coherence could be improved by using more connectors and transitions to ensure smooth progression between ideas. This can help in maintaining the reader’s focus and understanding throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure and framework for the arguments presented.
task achievement
Successful integration of an example (Mr. Eliah and the shooting sport) demonstrates the ability to support arguments with relevant details.