People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past, what do you think that is the reason for this? What are tha consequences for the people and people around them?

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There is no denying the fact that sleeping long
hours
is essential for the human’s
body
growth.
While
it is a commonly held belief that in the past people used to sleep longer
hours
than these days, there is
also
an argument that opposes it.
This
essay will discuss the reasons for
this
trend and
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
the consequences of
this
habit.
To begin
with, there are various studies about the perfect sleeping
hours
.
In other words
, sufficient sleeping
hours
is a complex matter to be discussed.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sleep itself is crucial for every human being.
In addition
, the human
body
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
develops and enhances its function
while
sleeping.
For example
, studies have proven that
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
body
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
a strong defense mechanism during sleeping
hours
. In terms of lower sleeping
hours
’ impact, it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
that your
body
will be vulnerable and your mind will be affected by
this
habit. It is
also
possible to say that people who sleep less than 6
hours
their performance will be plunged and they have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
to face
Change preposition
of facing
show examples
some diseases. North
note
Fix the agreement mistake
notes
show examples
,
social
Correct word choice
that social
show examples
media usage and smartphones in general
also
discourage the individual
to sleep
Change preposition
from sleeping
show examples
.
For instance
, if you browse social media apps that will distract you and
as a
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
show examples
you will not be able to sleep early,
therefore
, your daily
task's
Change noun form
task
show examples
performance will be decreased. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question, On balance,
however
, despite people having different points of view I tend to believe that sleeping long
hours
is required in order to let your
body
be healthier and to avoid any adverse impact on the future.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, make sure to address all parts of the question explicitly and provide a more comprehensive discussion on the reasons why people sleep less nowadays.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims regarding the impacts of reduced sleep.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking sentences and ideas more smoothly. Use transition words to create a more logical progression throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea and that this is directly supported by your content.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction presents the topic and general theme effectively, setting a context for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear effort to present a conclusion that sums up the central ideas of the essay.
supported main points
The essay highlights key issues such as the impact of sleep on health and daily performance, which are relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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