IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

universities should accept equal numbers of male and female student in every subject.

#universities #numbers #student
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There is a belief that colleges should have equal numbers of both genders in every topic. I would argue that universities should evaluate just the scientific records and talent of participants who are trying to enter universities.
Thus
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, I agree with
this
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 statement to a great extent. Nowadays, people are making efforts to enter higher educational systems for many reasons
such
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 as learning state-of-the-art knowledge, pursuing their interests, and eventually, being a sufficient person for their society as an expert in various fields. The government should try to bring fair rules to reach equal accessibility of males and females to scientific institutes. In fact, having done their duties properly, the public would have been useful for their country and the different occupations would be taken by real talents who are interested in their works significantly. It is obvious that females
due to
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 the nature of their gender need more attention from states and other parts of society. They should not only give them fair time and consideration but
also
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 ensure they can be in all sections of the public without any trouble. In my point of view, when women reach stages which are based on their abilities, they will be able to show their art and whole people will benefit from their excellent actions.
Although
Linking Words
 universities are a part of countries, the final affections of decisions which have
made
Add a missing verb
been made
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 there will be sensible for entire nations. In summary, from my perspective, it is better to provide equal opportunities to men and women, especially in academic units,
this
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 crucial action should be taken seriously, and I agree with the mentioned statement to a high extent.
Submitted by farr.shad.k on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, incorporate more specific examples or case studies to back up the arguments. Specific examples enrich your essay with real-world context and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. While the structure is clear, transitions between some paragraphs could be improved to make the essay even smoother and more readable.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by taking a clear perspective on gender equality in university admissions.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are present and encapsulate the main argument effectively. This provides clarity and coherence to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clearly articulated and generally supported, contributing to a well-rounded argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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