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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at universities in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #universities #countries #effects #society
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In recent years, the number of
science
 students at an academic level
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not
enough
Add a missing verb
been enough
show examples
 in different countries. The reason behind
this
 issue and the social
effect
 will be discussed in the essay. There are various causes of reducing academic
science
 learners worldwide. The main problem is that the salary of scientists is not appropriate
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their work effort. Researchers have to invest in advanced technology by combining numerous knowledge.
However
, they will get a low income even though they invested in fantastic research changing the future of the world. Another reason is that the
science
 subject is really more difficult than other
subjects
such
 as business and economics.
Science
 needs logical thinking and deep understanding in the specialized field. The clear example that supports
this
 case is that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 physics student
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct article usage
a bachelor
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree has to understand a number of formulas in the basic theories to adapt the new formula for their graduate project. These issues will affect society in different ways. The major
effect
 is that the quality of research will be decreased because of the decline of researchers.
This
 will make human technology develop slowly. Another
effect
 is that some
subjects
 will be extinct in university. Private universities have a tendency to cancel unpopular
science
subjects
 because they want to make
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 from other popular
subjects
.
To sum up
, there are two root causes that make
science
 students
adequate
Correct your spelling
inadequate
show examples
, which are the researcher's salary and how hard the subject is.
Moreover
, the
effect
 of these problems will be lower quality research and no
science
subjects
 in private universities.
Submitted by pakcheerac on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Considering adding more linking phrases and signposts to improve flow and transition between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both reasons for the problem and its effects on society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lack of interest
  • Motivation
  • Perceived difficulty
  • Career guidance
  • Diverse opportunities
  • Social media influence
  • Trendy fields
  • Outdated curriculum
  • Modern relevance
  • Engagement
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • Public health
  • Innovation
  • Sustainability
  • Skilled workforce
  • Knowledge economy
  • Research and development
  • Scientific literacy
  • Global competitiveness
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