Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, people are already open-minded towards various cultures, which emerges the different perceptions about learning
literatures
. Some individuals might argue that it is more essential to teach kids the literature of their nation, Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
while
others think otherwise
. In this
essay, I will examine the extent to which I do not completely agree with this
statement.
On the one hand, allowing children
to learn literature only from their own country
can limit their knowlegde
relating to the world Correct your spelling
knowledge
literatures
. It may narrow down their cultural thinking, which will lead to Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
the
racism. Correct article usage
apply
While
kids focusing
on preserving their cultures, they forget that there are other parts Wrong verb form
focus
in
Change preposition
of
this
world which are still untouchable. For example
, the Korean people, they
are well-known as a Correct pronoun usage
apply
country
which holds strongly onto
their traditions. Change preposition
to
However
, most indivudals
see them as the most racist Correct your spelling
individuals
country
in the world.
On the contrary
, teaching children
literatures
from their own Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
country
helps to preserve a sense of culture
identity. It enables them to understand Replace the word
cultural
regarding
their traditions and values. Change preposition
apply
In addition
, they can also
participate directly in order to make the
history more sustainable. Correct article usage
apply
Further
, it can strengthen the
nationalism and Correct article usage
apply
feeling
of belonging. For illustration, Correct article usage
a feeling
the
Balinese Correct article usage
apply
children
are taught about traditional
dance, called "Kecak", Correct article usage
a traditional
since
Change preposition
from
the
early Correct article usage
an
ages
. Today, people worldwide know Bali for its strong historical values, Fix the agreement mistake
age
which
its civilians can present their Change preposition
in which
dancings
Fix the agreement mistake
dancing
in
certain events. Even more, it can promote Change preposition
at
the
tourism in Indonesia as well.
All things considered, I believe that Correct article usage
apply
children
should learn literature from both sources, their own nation and others. The point that is
noteworthy is the proportion of materials given should be proportional. As they belong to one country
, they should learn and know better in that area.Submitted by fenanda.backup on
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content
Clarify the connection between learning literature and the potential for racism. Strengthen this argument with clear logical reasoning or supporting evidence.
structure
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your central argument. Consider using more transition words to guide the reader through your essay.
content
Consider providing more detailed and varied examples to support your points about cultural identity and global understanding.
language
Avoid repetitions and redundant words such as 'nowadays' and 'today', and use more precise language to emphasize your points.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, maintaining a good overall flow.
content
The introduction effectively states your position on the topic, preparing the reader for your arguments.
content
You provide examples such as Korean people and Balinese children, which add depth to your discussion and help illustrate your points.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the idea of learning literature from both local and global sources, which is a balanced approach.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example