One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvatages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development #disadvatages

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Research demonstrates that lifespan is rising as medical assistance improves. From my point of view,

this

has many advantages like having fewer health problems. It is not a secret to anyone that people are living longer and healthier than past generations.

Firstly

, our diet has been improved, experts in nutrition have been studying how the addition of aliments could be new sources of vitamins and minerals that are essential to enhanced form.

Secondly

, scientists and doctors are always trying innovative therapies and medicines in order to solve our problems.

In addition

, our knowledge about our bodies is now widespread

due to

the Internet;

consequently

, everyone is able to check online for easy remedies to feel better. In my personal experience, if the problem is not really important,

this

could be really helpful in order not to over-saturate doctors.

On the other hand

, global organizations and governments are concerned about medical care, leading to policies that include a public health system, providing everybody with the opportunity to go to their closest medical centre to be treated for a ridiculous rate

that is

included in taxes.

Nevertheless

, some people do not agree with these measures, they consider that paying for improving global health care is not their obligation.

Moreover

, the majority of them think that if they end up having any medical problem it is because it has to be, so they do not want to be treated. In my opinion, having the opportunity to be attended by experts is a blessing, why would you want to feel vital and healthy if you have the chance?

To conclude

, I would like to say that science and scientists are doing an amazing job finding new ways to treat patients and we should be proud of them.

Furthermore

, I do not consider that there are any disadvantages to wanting to live longer and staying as healthy as possible.

Submitted by lusitusi:) on Mon Dec 09 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on the potential disadvantages of increased life expectancy for a balanced argument. Although your focus is clear on the advantages, acknowledging the other side will strengthen your response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points of your argument and reinforces your stance on the essay topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing its overall coherence.

task achievement

Ideas are well-developed with relevant examples, such as improvements in diet and public health policies, making your argument clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvatages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

With advancing technology, the development of automated vehicles is becoming reality. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving vehicles?

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.