Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society. Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? how does competitiveness affect individuals?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
contemporary era,
individuals
Use synonyms
set their potential one step
forward
Rephrase
further
show examples
than the opponent to achieve their desired goals. Generally, people with a competitive spirit will succeed in today's time.
This
Linking Words
trend has both positive and negative influences on human beings
while
Linking Words
having
competitiveness
Use synonyms
trait
Fix the agreement mistake
traits
show examples
. It can affect the individual in numerous ways, which will be discussed in subsequent paragraphs.
Competitiveness
Use synonyms
can be seen very among people quite often, which
also
Linking Words
has a positive side.It motivates
individuals
Use synonyms
to learn as much as more than the competitor to weaken them in their specific field.
For instance
Linking Words
, these days , companies are coming across many rewards like employee of the month on the basis of their performance.
This
Linking Words
competition does not solely benefit the company, but the employees will try to do one level above their set potential.
This
Linking Words
would ultimately show them the mirror of their real personality, which they sometimes neglect
due to
Linking Words
the low spirit in their working environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
competitiveness
Use synonyms
may cause negative traits like jealousy.
This
Linking Words
would create conflicts among individual at their workplace. Unfortunately, employees will not coordinate on their
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
. Teamwork requires the contribution of all
individuals
Use synonyms
at all times. Jealousy will lead to less communication and different opinions, which would reduce the chance of working as a team. In conclusion, every phenomenon has a positive or negative side but it can be useful until
then
Linking Words
, it does create conflicts among
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Competitiveness
Use synonyms
motivates people to reach the path of success .
However
Linking Words
, it can create obstacles in their way by having a different perspective to make themselves
above all
Linking Words
.
Submitted by bajwaraman415 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While you have addressed the task by discussing both positive and negative aspects of competitiveness, try to expand further on how competitiveness affects individuals. You may consider providing more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly to enhance the flow of ideas. Use more discourse markers or linking words to effectively signal transitions between points.
supporting main points
Make sure each paragraph supports your main points with specific examples, as this helps in illustrating your arguments more vividly.
introduction conclusion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You have managed to touch upon both positive and negative sides of the topic, fulfilling a substantial part of the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strive for excellence
  • innovation
  • progress
  • harmful stress
  • anxiety
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
  • self-confidence
  • resilience
  • cutthroat culture
  • growth mindset
  • undue pressure
  • fear of failure
  • merit-based
  • social inequalities
  • globalization
  • trade wars
What to do next:
Look at other essays: