Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The consumerism era has arrived, marked by the large number of youths going to shopping malls to spend their leisure time. It is quite clear that

this

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phenomenon brings negative effects not only

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their surroundings but

also

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their

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on their

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lives. I strongly agree with

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view because it encourages young people to become consumptive and

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decreases their cultural awareness. First and foremost, when an adolescent goes to a shopping mall every free time, it enhances the opportunity for him or her to buy something impulsively.

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, if youngsters come frequently to the shopping centres,

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will

makes

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make

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them become

spendthrift

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spendthrifts

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, which can result in them not knowing how to save their money.

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, teenagers often

buying

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buy

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new branded apparel, gadgets, or trendy accessories because they see others buying them.

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, they might run out of money by the end of the month, making it difficult to save for emergencies or important needs.

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, attending shopping centres often makes them overly spoiled with modern conveniences.

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causes youths to overlook their cultural heritage or traditional activities. A survey shows that 70% of Indonesian youth today

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are

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more familiar with arcade machines in malls rather than authentic games originating from their own country.

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means

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the population of traditional elements unique to

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the country

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are gradually disappearing and losing their distinctive features. In conclusion, shopping malls can have detrimental impacts on young people, especially those who

still

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are still

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development

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the development

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period,

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as not valuing money and becoming unaware

about

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their culture.

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highlights the important role of parents in directing their children toward other beneficial activities.

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task achievement

Try to provide more variety in your examples or discuss potential counters to your claims for a more balanced argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to enhance the logical flow of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the argument effectively.

task achievement

You’ve provided thoughtful main points with supporting evidence.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

materialistic attitudes
excessive consumerism
sedentary lifestyles
peer pressure
financial irresponsibility
meaningful social relationships
family bonding
environmental degradation
commercial environments
productive activities

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Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is sometimes said that people should be enouraged to get married before they turn 30, as this is best for both individuals and society, Do you agree or disagree?

Increasing housing problem in big city is a social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?