Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (OPINION ESSAY)

#prison #countries #crime #education

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In the internet era, crimes in different forms are on the rise. To solve

this

Linking Words

issue, some people argue that putting more emphasis on education can substantially help

lessens

Wrong verb form

lessen

show examples

harmful acts, others believe that having prisons will do. The analysis of the impact of learning on the incidence and

prevelance

Correct your spelling

prevalence

of criminals,

as well as

Linking Words

taking into consideration the pros and cons of jails on society will aid

clarifying

Change preposition

in clarifying

show examples

both perspectives before bringing out an opinion.

Firstly

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, it is evident that whenever schools and universities are present

with

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show examples

abundance within a region,

crime-rates

Correct your spelling

crime rates

show examples

bottoms

Fix the agreement mistake

bottom

show examples

out. Because, most institutions teach subjects that address moral dilemmas like forgiveness, kindness,

behaving

Replace the word

behaviour

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, and respect.

Such

Linking Words

as in Saudi Arabia, the number of

studens

Correct your spelling

students

had doubled; which

then

Linking Words

adversely correlated with the decrease in the count of

prisnoners

Correct your spelling

prisoners

This

Linking Words

shows the influence of teaching and how it can serve

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a vital role in fighting crimes.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, other people disagree and think that locking down whoever makes a mistake tackles the problem more

practicly

Correct your spelling

practically

as those brutal individuals will be out of sight and not inflict others with their poison.

In addition

Linking Words

, people need punishment in order to be civilized again.

For instance

Linking Words

, many figures

charachters

Correct your spelling

characters

have

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

been caught and served time

initially

Linking Words

before their life

fliped

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flipped

show examples

abside

Correct your spelling

side

down, for

instacne

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instance

Mohammed Ali, the famous boxer, was arrested twice in his youth, only after he learned to fight in rings

instead

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of streets.

as a result

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, most countries

concile

Correct your spelling

reconcile

with making use of jails. In my personal opinion, both ideas are attractive and can have

advantiges

Correct your spelling

advantages

and

disadvantiges

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disadvantages

Nevertheless

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, concentrating on alleviating ignorance is more appealing and can serve as a catalyst for the growth of

the

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apply

show examples

society as a whole in the long run.

Submitted by tareq.kj on Tue Dec 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the main points are fully developed and supported with explanations, examples, or evidence. Although the essay addresses both sides of the argument, it could be further strengthened by elaborating on examples and ideas, especially regarding the role of prisons.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using sequencing words and phrases to better link ideas between paragraphs. Consider using more transition cues to enhance the logical flow from one idea to the next.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task adequately by discussing both perspectives on crime prevention through education and imprisonment, leading to a clear conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure is clear, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs exploring both points of view, and a conclusion containing the writer’s personal opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Prison is the common way most countries try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide the public a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (OPINION ESSAY)

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

Some people think that economic development is the only way to end poverty while others believe that it is causing damage to the environment and so should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.