In maby countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

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Many
countries
have started investing
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
new forms of
technology
,fields that can develop their nations , improve communication, simplify their jobs and a way to make life better.
However
, some feel that it is a bad use of the government's
money
.
For instance
, Japan have been one of the rising
countries
according to
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
the amount of
technology
they use , is actually insane from public transportation to as simple as opening the door .
In addition
, we live in
timeline
Add an article
a timeline
show examples
where
technology
is the main factor in our everyday lives no man can live without his mobile or his water heater. Many governments are starting to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the whole idea of improving the public and
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
behind it , is actually to have a more secure safe environment for passengers and people in general to do life chores without the harm of others.
In addition
, to that new
technology
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
always been promoted
into making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
life better ,so why
wouldnt
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
any nation put
money
into
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
their region better
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
, Kuwait
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
started
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
putting fines
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
anyone
whose
Correct your spelling
who does
show examples
not
respecting
Wrong verb form
respect
show examples
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
rights
such
as misuse of social media platforms and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is one of the best choices.Imagine living in a region where there is no development in their public transportation or speech , you will like an outsider. I firmly believe, that governments should always do things that will
ultimatly
Correct your spelling
ultimately
help
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
their regions either
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
simple or complex.
In addition
,
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
money
is the only right way
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
how nations
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
their new
technology
, we can not ask for civilians or people who live
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
it is not their job , some find it controversial because we love our
countries
and we need to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
it by our hard work and
money
. In conclusion, governments should always invest
into help
Change preposition
in helping
show examples
their
countries
rise and be in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
state either
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
technology
or speech.
Submitted by dr.hessahaljalahma on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This will help in understanding the flow of arguments and main points.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples or case studies to strengthen arguments. This will add depth to your points and give the essay more relevance and support.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly by discussing government investments in technology and touches on both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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