IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Band 9: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#band #countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
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Having entered any shop, from
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 chain supermarket to a small grocery, it is not unusual to notice a variety of
food
, imported from different foreign countries. In many instances,
this
 fad is strongly beloved among chefs and home cooks,
however
, others do not share the same enthusiasm, strongly
believeing
Correct your spelling
believing
 that it is
extrememly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 local producers and
farmers
. From one point of view, the availability of different types of
food
 makes a lot of people content purely on a psychological level.
For example
, the presence of Italian cheeses and delicacies undoubtedly inspires a lot of individuals to try various recipes from the Mediterranian cuisine, which,
conequently
Correct your spelling
consequently
, makes them happier.
Moreover
, simply by giving people an opportunity to choose from a plethora of products,
this
 development
unconciously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
 creates a sense of freedom and democracy.
For instance
, when Russia banned the import of
food
 from
EU
Correct article usage
the EU
show examples
 in 2014, nobody could
forsee
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foresee
show examples
, that it was just another stepping stone towards the
totaliarian
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totalitarian
 state.
On the other hand
, some people with
protectionalists
Correct your spelling
protectionists
protectionist
 views are convinced, that the import of foreign
food
 will have a detrimental
affect
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effect
show examples
 on local
farmers
 and producers,
due to
 the fact, that
these product
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this product
these products
show examples
 typically draw a lot of attention, despite being more expensive at times.
However
, in reality, in many
situations
Add a comma
situations,
show examples
 the prices of the domestic products are much higher, which only
worsenes
Correct your spelling
worsened
worsens
worsen
 the situation in the eyes of the consumers, for if the foreign products are more affordable and sometimes even of a higher quality, why even support local
farmers
? In conclusion,
while
 I understand the concerns of many individuals for the local producers, I firmly believe that the import of
product
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products
show examples
 from foreign
coutries
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countries
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a positive impact not only on the consumers
,
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apply
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 but the
farmers
 as well, by promoting
a
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apply
show examples
healthy competition and
contrubiting
Correct your spelling
contributing
 to the global economy
alltogether
Correct your spelling
altogether
all together
.
Submitted by smackerprince on

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grammatical
To enhance coherence and cohesion, avoid errors like "protectionalists" instead of "protectionists" and "frad" instead of "fad." This will make your essay easier to read and follow.
development
Further exemplify your points to strengthen task response. For example, you could include more specific instances of the impacts on local farmers, or statistics about international food trade in your country.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the main idea and sets up both perspectives effectively. This provides a strong foundation for the essay.
balanced perspective
The essay offers a balanced perspective by presenting both positive and negative aspects of imported foods, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
conclusion strength
The conclusion revisits the main points and offers a clear stance, reinforcing the writer's position and ensuring the essay is complete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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