Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their familles but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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A
lot
Use synonyms
of
aged
Correct article usage
the aged
show examples
population
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not stay with his or her families but they are usually sent to
care
Use synonyms
homes or nursing houses.
This
Linking Words
tendency can have a certain number of advantages, but it is
also
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likely to result in negative outcomes. On the one hand, we can note some positive aspects of nursing or
care
Use synonyms
houses. These groups of objects make a
lot
Use synonyms
of change for
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
crowd to take
care
Use synonyms
of their basic needs.
For example
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, eating, health and
pass waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
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time effectively.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
this
Linking Words
approach seems really efficient for some busy
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because many
people
Use synonyms
do not
care
Use synonyms
about their parents for their job and other activities. Choosing some
care
Use synonyms
homes not only helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elderly
people
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
other household limbs. In
this
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case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
can receive a
lot
Use synonyms
of attention and the young ones can do their work and other essential occupations.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
feelings
Correct article usage
the feelings
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
about
separate
Replace the word
separating
show examples
from their homes, because they spent a big part of their life in certain places and
this
Linking Words
situation can be hard for
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
. Considering
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
part of elderly
people
Use synonyms
want to stay and spend some time with their children, grandchildren
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
this
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is
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
show examples
side
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this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
tendency.
In addition
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, a
lot
Use synonyms
of parents think about
their
Change the word
the
show examples
suffering
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their children and they want additional attention from their children. In short,
this
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situation not only leads to positive implications, but it
also
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cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
some negative impacts.
Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on

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grammatical range accuracy
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring subject-verb agreement in your sentences.
task achievement
Try to expand on your arguments with more specific examples or evidence. This can help support your points more strongly.
lexical resource
Improve the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary. Make sure you are using words correctly and effectively to convey your ideas.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and scope of the essay.
task achievement
You have covered both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, addressing the task well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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