IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

more and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of tranportation.Describe some of the problrms over-reliance on car can cause, suggest atleast one possible solution.

#people #cars #tranportation #problrms #over-reliance #car #atleast
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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, every individual wants to enjoy freedom in terms of various aspects, and mode of
transport
Use synonyms
 is one of these. Private
transport
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more demanding on the basis of choice. I will elaborate on the effects of depending more on
cars
Use synonyms
 and provide some impactful solutions in subsequent paragraphs. There are numerous issues, which will occur
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the way of more demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 personal
cars
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, more personal
cars
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 can cause traffic congestion. Unfortunately, it leads to noise pollution.
Moreover
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, Golden-agers will suffer
due to
Linking Words
 having more health-related ailments.
Apart from
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this
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,
this
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 trend will create obstacles in family relations.
For instance
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, Every individual goes for outings on weekends to spend their spare time with friends and family. If a few individuals have different plans
then
Linking Words
 they would definitely go with their choice as they don't need to depend on others for outdoor activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
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 modern trend gives rise to
inactivess
Correct your spelling
inactivity
 in the younger generation. More reliance on self-owned
vehicles
Use synonyms
 does not teach them the required enthusiasm to reach at workplace with public
transport
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. Unfortunately,
this
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 will make them lazy
due to
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 the easy convenience at the workplace
as well as
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 other places.
For example
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, Using public
transport
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 like buses and trains requires more effort as they need to wake up early and have to walk to the stations.
However
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, owning
vehicles
Use synonyms
 will ultimately reduce some physical movement in their daily routine. Each phenomenon has its own pros and cons. Government attention can tackle many problems with adequate actions. They can increase the interest rate on
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 and lower the bus fares.
As a result
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, individuals will hesitate to incur
such
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 expenses . It does not solely benefit the government with more bus preference for public
vehicles
Use synonyms
 but, people can save much money for future use. In conclusion, private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 come with myriad advantages but some problem comes
along
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with
Correct pronoun usage
with them
show examples
.
This
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 trend can promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more nuclear families as an individual
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 enjoying the taste of liberty.
Submitted by bajwaraman415 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and flows logically into the next, with smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are thoroughly detailed and supported by concrete examples or statistics to strengthen your response.
general
Review sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity, which will enhance comprehension of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, setting up the topic and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
Task is addressed with relevant points concerning the problems and solutions of over-reliance on private cars.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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