IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Art is a skill and a talent and so it should not be taught at universities. How much do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

#art #skill #talent #universities #point
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art
Use synonyms
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 just a skill or a talent it's
also
Linking Words
 a culture and
tradition
Use synonyms
 for many individuals.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 think that
art
Use synonyms
 shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be prioritized as a university subject or
Use synonyms
universities
Correct word choice
that universities
show examples
 should avoid teaching about
art
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will argue about why
this
Linking Words
 is potential
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our culture and
tradition
Use synonyms
, and how
universities
Use synonyms
 can provide a vast amount of knowledge about
art
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
art
Use synonyms
 has its own history throughout generations, because
art
Use synonyms
 is not only some paintings it's
also
Linking Words
 someone's culture and
tradition
Use synonyms
 as well.
Art
Use synonyms
 was used
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a communication system in past but now many
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that it's just a painting or talent.
For instance
Linking Words
,
caveman
Add an article
the caveman
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to
wrote
Change the form of the verb
write
show examples
 their communication symbols on stones and
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
. So,
todays
Correct your spelling
today
 research and studies found lots of information about caveman's
Use synonyms
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
 and cultures which brought us a great amount of
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
 how they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lived.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
universities
Use synonyms
 should teach their students how to read those ancient manuscripts, that's how students can read and understand how ancient monuments were built by those who lived a long time ago.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK many
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
show examples
 offers
art
Use synonyms
 as a main subject for their students. Those
universities
Use synonyms
teaches
Change the verb form
teach
show examples
 how ancient
people
Use synonyms
 lived long ago and how they
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicated
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
as well as
Linking Words
 how they constructed long buildings and how capable their
architect
Fix the agreement mistake
architects
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
. In conclusion, a group of
people
Use synonyms
 might think that
art
Use synonyms
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
 essential and
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be taught at
universities
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it should be more encouraged by
universities
Use synonyms
, because of its traditional and cultural views and many beneficial information.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presentation of ideas. For example, specify clearly the distinction between skill/talent and academic study when discussing art as a cultural tradition.
task achievement
Refine your argument to enhance logical progression. Try organizing each paragraph with a clear point followed by evidence and analysis.
task achievement
Elaborate more on why university education enhances understanding of art compared to learning through talent or informal study.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your disagreement with the notion that art should not be taught in universities, setting a strong tone for the essay.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the use of historic art for communication and modern examples from UK universities, to support your points.
logical structure
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance and reinforces your argument about the importance of teaching art in education.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: