IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are relying  on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #cars #transportation #over-reliance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
use
 of
automovile
Correct your spelling
automobile
automobiles
 as a way of
transport
 has been incremented in popularity during the
last
 years. As for, a high
percentege
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
people
 chose it as their
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 option to
comute
Correct your spelling
commute
 from home to work,
due to
, it
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 considered the most
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
.
However
, there are some cons in terms of
reliable
Replace the word
reliability
show examples
 which will be explored in
this
 essay
as well as
 how they can be
possbile
Correct your spelling
possibly
 tackled. First of all, the
use
 of cars as unique transportation
above all
 in big cities could lead to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 to deal with
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 congestion,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 during peak hours.
Due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, almost all the
people
 in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 urban areas have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar mindset about the
use
 of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
,
this
 drive to generate more traffic during long periods in the morning.
Consequently
,
people
 arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their jobs or schools more
fustrated
Correct your spelling
frustrated
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 before
to leave
Change the verb form
leaving
show examples
 home. Another problem is that most
people
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 it as the unique
transport
 they can
use
 to move from one place to another, causing that, even when it is just a flat
tire
Change the spelling
tyre
show examples
 or
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 engine problem;
people
 tend to be overwhelmed and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not what to do to deal with, ended up in grumpy users. One of the possible solutions can be the
use
 of other ways of
transport
,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 train, metro, bus or
ferri
Correct your spelling
ferry
.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 ways of
transport
 offer the customer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more reliable
opptions
Correct your spelling
options
option
 for
move
Add an article
a move
show examples
 between places, as
them
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
 have time schedules and
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
 they have special roads for their unique
use
.
This
 gives
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the users a better and
confort
Correct your spelling
comfort
 way to
go
Verb problem
get
show examples
 to their jobs.
Submitted by osonava on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to reduce grammatical and spelling errors for clarity. For instance, 'percent', 'commute', 'traffic', 'ferry', and 'frustrated' are spelled incorrectly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that transitions between ideas are smooth. Consider using linking words or phrases like "Moreover," "As a result," or "This leads to" to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, mention a particular city or scenario where traffic congestion is notably problematic.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically. You transitioned well between discussing problems and a possible solution regarding over-reliance on cars.
task achievement
There is a clear structure with an introduction, problems, and a solution, which shows you understand the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Over-reliance
  • Transportation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Air pollution
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Noise pollution
  • Traffic congestion
  • Urban sprawl
  • Natural resources
  • Fossil fuels
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Public transportation
  • Carpooling
  • Ridesharing
  • Urban planning
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Commutes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: