Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed by many that spending capital on space discoveries is totally useless;
however
,others think that
this
cash could
be benefitted for
Verb problem
benefit
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the
development
of nations with different
resources
.Even though space exploration has few benefits,draining
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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on natural
resources
production and exploration has far more advantages. Why production of natural
resources
are beneficial than exploring the universe?One of the main reasons is that oil,gas and coal are saturated under the earth and sea.If these natural materials are fully utilized,poverty could be reduced significantly over the world as more and more people get a lot of scopes to fulfil their daily needs.
Whereas
people in many parts of the world as
southeast
Capitalize word
Southeast
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Asia,are mostly dependent on their neighbour countries for oil,gas and electricity and live a difficult life,the rich country's potential control over their
resources
has brought economic success.The more cash have spend on it,the more wealthy they can be.
Hence
,its advantages are vital for countries'
development
.
Additionally
,searching for new sources of these is essential for governments.
While
authorities have spent a lot in experimenting with the universe,less funding for other environmental sources can be detrimental to the whole nation.
Moreover
,continuous upgrading of these sectors can generate power and wealth that leads to infrastructure and fundamental
development
of societies.
For instance
, independence in the gas sector can bring huge remittance through its garments industries as their
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
need hot air in most cases.
Consequently
,despite some advantages of experimenting universe like a rocket launching to know about the ages of planets,a large portion of general public taxes spending on it may not be a major contribution. In conclusion,
while
the government has enough
resources
to spend its funds for its
development
,spending huge amounts of
fund
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funds
show examples
on space discovery creates a major concern for many.In my opinion,they should provide balanced funding for both sectors regardless of their own interest, so that poverty and hunger can no longer exist.
Submitted by bipashaa on

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task achievement
To enhance your essay, you could provide more balanced views about space exploration by discussing its potential benefits along with its disadvantages. This would offer a more comprehensive task response.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a few transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. Connectors like "On the other hand," "Furthermore," and "Additionally" could make your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a different point, which helps maintain clarity and focus.
task achievement
The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the dependency on oil and gas in Southeast Asia. This strengthens the task achievement as the examples are specific and relevant.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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