The solution to the overpopulation of this planet is education. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this statement. Support your point with reasons or examples from your own experience.
There are more than 5 billion
people
live
Wrong verb form
living
in
Change preposition
on
this
planet. In some cities, population
is already overloaded Add an article
the population
and
Correct word choice
apply
causes
unhealthy communities. Many Wrong verb form
causing
people
campaigning birth
control as the only solution. Change preposition
for birth
While
we could not
escape from Wrong verb form
cannot
this
reality, I agree that education
could provide solutions because through schools we could learn awareness on many things, especially environment
. Correct article usage
the environment
This
essay will elaborate two
reasons to support my opinion.
Change preposition
on two
Firstly
, smart people
tends
to think more comprehensively in many aspects of their Change the verb form
tend
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, they will think throughly
whenever they Correct your spelling
through
would decided
to have more kids. We could Wrong verb form
decide
compared
that Wrong verb form
compare
people
in rural areas, since many of them are not well educated, tend to have more children than big cities parents. Educated persons will also
have Correct article usage
the consiousness
consiousness
to behave wisely using resources Correct your spelling
consciousness
as
water or electricity because they Correct quantifier usage
such as
aknowledge
that those resources have some limits.
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
Secondly
, I believe education
can create awareness on individual
level to live Add an article
an individual
accordingly
in a tight neighbourhood. Since most of the population of this
world live
in cities in a very crowded area, Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
therefore
it is important for each person to have high consideration to
his Change preposition
for
communities
. It will make Fix the agreement mistake
community
every one
live more easily.
Replace the word
everyone
To conclude
, education
provides solutions to our overpopulation world since it makes people
become wiser and more considerate because
their high awareness Add the preposition
because of
to
the situation. I support Change preposition
of
education
as a way to make a better civilisation by overcome
Wrong verb form
overcoming
problem
of overpopulation. In the future, I hope that the more Correct article usage
the problem
people
get education
, the lesser Add an article
an education
world's
population will be.Correct article usage
the world's
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each main point with specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use topic sentences effectively in each paragraph to clearly signal the main idea you are discussing.
general
Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the fluency and sophistication of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, framing the essay well by stating your position clearly and summarizing your main points.
task achievement
You have chosen a clear stance and provided reasons supporting the role of education in addressing overpopulation, fulfilling the task prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically, with each main argument following the other; however, there is room to connect ideas more seamlessly for better cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.