IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that studying online is more effective that studying on campus while other disagree. Discuss both views

#people #campus
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
On the one hand, many people think that online education is much more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 than traditional on-campus learning. Many students can sit in their comfortable homes to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classes and participate actively through their laptops.
This
Linking Words
 can save
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of time for students who usually travel to universities from different suburbs using public or private transport.
For example
Linking Words
, many students and professional lecturers prefer going to nearby Universities as many people are poor
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 time. In short, because of the enormous time saving
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 online courses
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
, people prefer it rather than attending classes
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
show examples
.
Submitted by taliyarifat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that both sides of the argument are addressed equally. While the benefits of online education are clear, discussing the advantages of on-campus learning will provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider structuring your essay with clear paragraphs dedicated to each argument. Providing a brief introduction and conclusion will enhance the overall organization.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses relevant and specific examples to support ideas, such as the convenience of attending classes from home.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained with a clear explanation of why some prefer online education due to time-saving factors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online education
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • enhancing learning experiences
  • online platforms
  • self-discipline
  • motivation
  • structured environments
  • democratize education
  • broader audience
  • social interaction
  • internet connectivity
  • screen fatigue
  • on-campus experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: