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Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, the number of adolescents who leave their family homes after graduating from school has increased drastically. Personally, I firmly believe that
this
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 is a positive
development
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, as it allows young
people
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 to become independent and facilitates personal growth and
development
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.
This
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 essay will elucidate why youngsters living on their own is a positive trend. One of the most significant benefits of living without a family is that it ensures young
people
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 become independent.
Firstly
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, living away from family often accelerates the
development
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 of independence in young individuals. When young
people
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 live on their own, they are required to take full responsibility for their daily needs,
such
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 as managing finances, cooking, cleaning, and making decisions.
This
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 environment encourages self-reliance, problem-solving skills, and the ability to adapt to new challenges. Without the safety net of family, youth learn to navigate life's complexities,
such
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 as creating and managing a budget, which builds confidence and a sense of accountability.
As a result
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, these experiences prepare them for adulthood, making them more capable of handling responsibilities in both their personal and professional lives.
Secondly
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, living away from family encourages social
development
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. Sharing a house with friends or roommates enhances social skills and teaches compromise and conflict resolution.
For example
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, many young
people
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 in Turkey share accommodations during university, building lasting friendships and learning to coexist with others.
Moreover
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, living away from home allows young
people
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 to relocate for better educational or job prospects. In countries like Kazakhstan, many young adults move to urban centres for greater opportunities, which they might not pursue if living with their parents. In conclusion, there are myriad benefits to living away from family, ranging from the
development
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 of independence, self-reliance, and problem-solving skills to social
development
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 and better educational or job prospects.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
this
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 is a positive trend.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay generally follows a logical structure, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next for even clearer coherence.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments or alternate perspectives more clearly to deepen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay successfully provides relevant and specific examples to support the points made, enhancing the overall task response.
task achievement
You develop multiple dimensions of your argument, providing a well-rounded and comprehensive response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-reliance
  • financial responsibility
  • social isolation
  • housing demand
  • personal growth
  • financial strain
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making skills
  • disrupt
  • support networks
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