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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart illustrates the proportion of residents possessing computer from 2002 to 2010. The second bar chart compares the percentage of people who owned computer by level of their education between 2002 and 2010.

The first chart illustrates the proportion of residents possessing computer from 2002 to 2010. The second bar chart compares the percentage of people who owned computer by level of their education between 2002 and 2010.
#first #proportion #residents #computer #second #bar #percentage #people #level #education
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The first graph provides data about the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 owns
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 from 2002 to 2010 ,
while
 the second one
differentiate
Change the verb form
differentiates
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 data on the amount of people who purchase
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 by their education degree in 2002 and 2010 .
Overall
, towards contemporary days consumption of
computer
 increased. Mostly postgraduate students possess
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 in both 2002 and 2010. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of people was just below 60 in 2002 and
this
 indicator was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minor throughout the period. The usage of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 increased regularly and
was succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeded
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 in passing 60 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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around 5 in 2006.
Computer
 ownership witnessed its peak in 2010 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 76. Development in education did not pass behind the demand for
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, so
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education level influenced
also
need
Correct article usage
the need
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 for technological
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
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. Individuals who have no high school diploma showed the least
interes
Correct your spelling
interest
 compared to other ones and statistics became
such
 as just above 10 and 40 in 2002 and 2010 ,respectively. The usage of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 experienced a dramatic increase and
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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peak numbers
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 70 and 90 in 2002 and 2010 by master students, relevantly.
Submitted by mammadliayshan1 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words computer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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