Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effect on a children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The impact of television,
video
, and computer
games
on
children
has been widely debated. Some believe these forms of media can be beneficial,
while
others argue they have negative effects.
This
essay will discuss both views before offering my opinion. Supporters of
screen
time
argue that television and
video
games
can provide
children
with valuable educational content. Many TV shows,
such
as Sesame Street, help
children
learn basic skills like literacy and numeracy.
Similarly
, certain
video
games
can improve problem-solving skills, coordination, and even creativity.
For example
, puzzle
games
or strategy
games
require players to think critically and plan ahead.
However
, critics warn that excessive
screen
time
can be harmful. Long hours in front of a
screen
can lead to physical issues,
such
as poor posture and obesity, as
children
may replace outdoor activities with gaming.
Moreover
, many
video
games
and TV shows contain violent or inappropriate content, which can negatively influence
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Additionally
, too much
time
spent on screens may reduce opportunities for
children
to socialize, affecting their emotional and social development. In my opinion, the key is moderation. If
screen
time
is balanced with physical activity and real-world interaction, it can be beneficial. Parents should ensure that
children
engage with age-appropriate content and limit the amount of
time
spent on screens each day. In conclusion,
while
television and
video
games
can offer educational benefits, they should be used in moderation to avoid negative effects on a child’s development.
Submitted by tareq.kj on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more transition words and phrases such as 'on the other hand' and 'furthermore' to clearly distinguish between different points of view and to add additional information.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or studies to back up the claims, especially in relation to the educational value of TV shows and games.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on the impact of screen time.
task achievement
Provides a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument, which is important for a task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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