Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effect on a children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #video #computer #games #children #effect

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The impact of television,

video

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, and computer

games

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children

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has been widely debated. Some believe these forms of media can be beneficial,

while

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others argue they have negative effects.

This

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essay will discuss both views before offering my opinion. Supporters of

screen

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time

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argue that television and

video

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games

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can provide

children

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with valuable educational content. Many TV shows,

such

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as Sesame Street, help

children

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learn basic skills like literacy and numeracy.

Similarly

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, certain

video

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games

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can improve problem-solving skills, coordination, and even creativity.

For example

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, puzzle

games

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or strategy

games

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require players to think critically and plan ahead.

However

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, critics warn that excessive

screen

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time

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can be harmful. Long hours in front of a

screen

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can lead to physical issues,

such

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as poor posture and obesity, as

children

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may replace outdoor activities with gaming.

Moreover

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, many

video

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games

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and TV shows contain violent or inappropriate content, which can negatively influence

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

Additionally

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, too much

time

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spent on screens may reduce opportunities for

children

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to socialize, affecting their emotional and social development. In my opinion, the key is moderation. If

screen

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time

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is balanced with physical activity and real-world interaction, it can be beneficial. Parents should ensure that

children

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engage with age-appropriate content and limit the amount of

time

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spent on screens each day. In conclusion,

while

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television and

video

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games

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can offer educational benefits, they should be used in moderation to avoid negative effects on a child’s development.

Submitted by tareq.kj on Thu Dec 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow by using more transition words and phrases such as 'on the other hand' and 'furthermore' to clearly distinguish between different points of view and to add additional information.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or studies to back up the claims, especially in relation to the educational value of TV shows and games.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on the impact of screen time.

task achievement

Provides a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument, which is important for a task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

240 words

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Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effect on a children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the idea of having a career with one company is an old-fashioned one. To what extent do you think having several different jobs or careers is better than a career with one company?